A THANKFUL CHRISTMAS with NO PAJAMA DRAMA

To lose a pinch of sleep.

Trying to get it all done.

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We grow a few grey hairs {or 10 thousand}. I personally have no grey hair.  I totally have a ton of grey hair.

We are all like ducks.  Looking all graceful on the surface, but paddling like hell underneath.

So… ’tis the season to remind ourselves what we are thankful for.

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 I sound all yoga-esque, don’t I?

Balancing my Yin with my Yang.

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I can do that.

And so can you.

So we can all get our sleep back.

And end the Pajama Drama.

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I think we can do that, by reminding ourselves what we are truly thankful for.  So….here it goes….

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THIS CHRISTMAS SEASON

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I’M THANKFUL…..

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1.  When my pajama top AND bottoms match.

Yup.

The world is aligned.

The stars are twinklin’.

The moon is smiling.

All the ducks are lined up in a row.

Pajama bliss.  No pajama drama.

 I’m weird like that. I am even thankful when both the TOP and the BOTTOM  of the p’jammies have emerged from the laundry bin and they are both clean AT THE SAME TIME.

Helloooo.  The best moment ever.

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2.  I am thankful when I can see the BOTTOM of the laundry bin.

 I am not sure that I have ever seen the bottom of the laundry bin.

 *SERIOUS*

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 Laundry is best described by a fellow blogger ….

One Mom Lightens Her Load – Of Laundry…

My life is ruled by The Laundry.

The Laundry is bullshit. If I dare skip a day, it gathers in the darkened hamper and commits unspeakable acts. Dirty socks rub up against filthy shirts and they have nasty laundry sex and spawn little laundry babies. So that when I go to do the wash the next day, I stare at the piles and think, how did this happen? Didn’t I just wash that?

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3.  I am thankful when my Bra and  ’Underwear’ match.

 Like that is ever going to happen.

I was going to type the word ‘panties’ in there, but my childhood upbringing causes me to think that the word ‘panties’ is a word to describe thongs & the kind of underwear that you would only wear if you were a hussy.

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4.  I am thankful for smoke alarms.

 I am particularly thankful when I cook and the smoke alarm does NOT go off.

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5.  I am thankful for a clean car.

 It is a bonus to have a road trip, without spilled milk in the car.

Note: Do not travel with kids AND milk.  I can promise you that when that milk is spilled, and a couple of days go by…

Your car will smell like you killed someone and stuffed them in your trunk.

 Guaranteed.

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6.  I am thankful when I do not have dust balls in my house.

Ohhh, you know the kind.

Don’t you dare pretend that you don’t have them.  I will be all embarrassed that I am the only one.

~ Tumble weed ~

 Where in the hell errh ..{insert some polite word}…. do those things come from ?!

Check out this next photo.  I was sooo thankful when I realized that someone else could actually drum up the idea of turning tumbleweed into a chandelier.  I am not the only nut in town.  Brilliance. I could make millions.  I have tumbleweed like this rolling around in every nook and cranny of the house.

 I may very well be a tumble weed breeder.

 Uhhhum, that’s true.

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7.   I am thankful I don’t know how to make a Gingerbread house.

 If I did, I would eat all the candy BEFORE it made it on to the house.

Then, I would throw up.

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8.  I am thankful for our number one, big fat important house rule.

We are a family of SIX.

Therefore Note : I live for date night.

 The kids know our numero uno family rule :

 ” Do not call Mom and Dad…. unless there is blood, fire or an emergency vehicle parked outside the living room window “ Period.

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9.  I am thankful for DIY blogs.

 I love to read them.

Then…. I pretend that I am actually going to make the item that I read about on the DIY blog.

 I even BOOKMARK it.

 Done.

  Accomplished task.

 Such a strong sense of accomplishment, non?!

INSTANT GRATIFICATION

I look at photos like this and think……YES…I  adore these and I will make these someday……

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I lie.  

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10.  I am thankful for interior neck labels on shirts that aren’t scratchy.

 Like the kind of scratch that forces you to want to rip your shirt off in public places with label hatred.  I become a shirt ninja, karate chopping the back of my shirt to grab at the label.  In fact, I am searching for scissors right now.  I am likely to have a hole in the back of my shirt at any moment.  I am convinced that soft label design on clothing is, in fact, rocket science.

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11.  I am thankful that I am not in a shopping mall right now.

 I feel the urge to want to punch people.

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12.  I am thankful when unexpected company arrives, and my house is actually clean.

* Like that ever happens *

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 The added bonus is that when they arrive at our doorstep…..

I don’t have to stand there, arms crossed in front of my chest, pretending that I have my bra on.

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 MERRY HoHo SEASON

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I hope you had a Hairy Mistress.

Oops, I mean a Merry Christmas.

{ Freakin’ typo’s }

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What are you thankful for this Christmas season?

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