Buy an ad on this blog now or kick yourself later.

Stamped it.  Double stamped it, no erasies.

You might need a third leg for the kicking ~ but a kick ~ nonetheless.  Same thing.

Boot.  Bang.  Thud.  Kick.

You won’t want to miss this epic opportunity to advertise on the blog.  This is a great place in the blogging universe.   There are great peeps that hang out around here.

Look around.  You are pretty special.  You are here.

Why here and not somewhere else?

 

The pitfalls of placing ads on other sites :

 

Some bloggers will advertise everything and anything.  They will do a review, and write all kinds of blah blah blah… oh this product is lovely… blah blah blah… my dog uses this product every day to keep his hair shiny… blah blah blah…. and now I use it too.

Oh la la…blah blah blah…..my hair is silky smooth….blah blah blah…I look like a super model now.  I owe my dog a great deal of thanks.  And my blog sponsors are magical.  Oh la la.

 

Then there are other bloggers.   Authentic bloggers.   Like me.

I only write the real deal of shit.

Ask my peeps (that’s you).

I am predictably authentic.  Every. Single. Time.

If I write about a product or service, you can be damn sure that I love it.

Guaranteed.

The sidebar ads in my blog         ———————————————————>>

are there because I wholeheartedly believe in these people, their products and their blogs.  I heart them.  Otherwise ~ their ad spaces wouldn’t grace these pages.

If you are a cool company, blog, website or general all around awesome person, you can have a spot in there too.  Look how pretty that is?  Who can resist that??!!

I made those ad spots all puuuurty-like.  I can make one for you too.

 

Do you want a spot on the blog?  You should.  It’s epic around here and  now is your chance.

Did you hear that??!!               NOW.  Stat.  Pronto.

I barked that command.

Sorry about that, I’m usually more soft-spoken.   Enough of that.   I want to shout this to the universe.  Shouting into cyberspace.  Hollering into the blog-o-sphere.   Screaming to the moon and stars above.

Can you hear me?

Let’s do this together.

I need you.

 

Now is the time to buy an ad on Design The Life You Want to Live http://lynneknowlton ! Get it before the spaces are gone.

 

An advertising plan :

Do you ever set your mind to something?  You make a plan.  A legit plan.  One that you think will take you 1o minutes.  Ten months, 10 weeks, 10 cotton pickin’ hours  later… the plan was formulated.

I need a third leg to kick myself.   It took  me that long.

Don’t make the same mistake as me.  We only need one doofass in the room at a time.

Here’s the cool part… I want to blow the doors off of your advertising too.  I want to help make a difference for you.  I want to move the dial.  For you.

Why is this such a humdinger of a plan?

I hummed and haaaaa’d.  I beat the plan around the bush.  I noodled it.  I contemplated it.  I loved it.  Then I hated it. And loved it again.

It was a loooooooooooooooooong road to get to the point of advertising.

 

Do you ever make your mind up about something, and then your mind freaking talks you out of it?

 

Dammit.

Damn.   Damn.   Mother efffing Damn.

 

I never do that.  Yes I do.  I do it every day.

 

Why do our heads talk us out of things ??!

 

Why?  Why?

Oh.My.Word.

 Pffft.

 

Do you have thoughts like this? :

 

Thou shall not touch the chocolate chip cookies.

Thou shall not.

Not.  Nope.  Not.

Don’t do it.

Don’t.

 

Then what happens?

The bloody chocolate chip cookies call your name.  Assholes.  Asshole cookies.

But the asshole cookie just talks like that, doesn’t it?    You know it :

 

Hey you.  Come here.  Really.  I’m over here.  Right where you hid me.  Neatly tucked behind the crackers that taste like expired brussel sprouts.   Ahhh.  That’s right.  I’m all snuggly back here in the pantry looking all tempty tempting to you. That’s it.  You found me.  Quick.  I’m all yours.  Take me.  Take me now.

 

Bastard cookies.

 

That is identical to blog advertising.  Bloggers think YES I want that cookie.  No.  I can’t.   I shall not.  I don’t have enough traffic.  Yes.  I can.  I have the traffic now.  I worked hard for that.   No.  I can’t.   People will be mad at me if I advertise.   There will be a mutiny on the bounty.

Here’s the deal.

Without blog monetization, there can be no blog.  Oh. My.  Are those sad words or what?

We can’t let that happen.

If it happens, you better bring me flowers.

 

Now is the time to buy an ad on Design The Life You Want to Live http://lynneknowlton ! Get it before the spaces are gone.

I like BIG flowers, just so you know.

 

Don’t make me sad like that.

I will holler………………H.o.L.l.e.R……….and be flipping mad to not have this blog anymore.    Don’t make me be that girl.    A temper tantrum will ensue.

I usually reserve hollering for when :

*    Something is on fire.

*    When there is blood.

*    If my wine glass is empty.  That is serious business.

 

This is also serious biz.  I need to monetize this son of a bitch.  Something needs to pay for my habits.  Chocolate chip cookies aren’t cheap, you know.   These sidebar ads need to change that shit up.  I can not … nope …  will not … live without cookies.

Not making enough money on a blog can be a buzz kill.  Believe me.  It is HARD WORK.  Don’t let my pajamas fool you.  Don’t let these fun words fool you.  I dream blog posts.

Now is your chance to advertise on an epic blog ... Design The Life You Want to Live ... http://lynneknowlton.com

I work all.the.time.  Because I love love love it.   I’m also as tough as a two dollar steak if I need to be.

I will walk into poles and bump into things when I am deep into bloggy thoughts.

That’s dedication, man.

 

Are you a blogger?  Do you feel the same way? Do you think like this :

So what, you're a blogger.  Now what??!!!

 

Make money.  That’s what.

Not making money on a blog is like flirting with failure in my eyes.  I refuse to flirt with such nonsense.  I’d rather flirt with some cents.

Here’s what you need to do.  NOW.

Tell your boss that the company needs to advertise on my site.

For Gawwwwwds sake …. do it after work hours when they are drunk on martinis at the local swishy swanky restaurant.

 

Now is the time to buy an ad on Design The Life You Want to Live http://lynneknowlton ! Get it before the spaces are gone.

Sweet talk them

 

Only talk to them when they are in a happy place.   K? K.

 

Do not.

 I repeat.

Do not.

 

Tell them that you are reading my blog at work.  That won’t end well.

Pay attention to me.  I’m smart.

 

Next:

Tell them that their ad space will rock the universe if they advertise on this bloggy.  They can buy an ad in my sidebar for a month.  Or longer.  Maybe f.o.r.e.v.e.r.  That works too.  Tell them I will even do shout outs about them.  In my holler-y voice.  I’m loud, you know.   I can holler far and wide.   This bloggy reaches across the world.  Yup.  It has freakishly long arms.

You need to tell all this stuff to your boss in a good way.  Can you handle this challenge?

 

Do it.

Do it now.

 

Now is your chance to advertise on an epic blog ... Design The Life You Want to Live ... http://lynneknowlton.com

Share the love

Tell the big chiefs that they can find the dirt about the blog stats here.   They may need that info before they bite the bullet.  Those are good questions to ask.  Very good.  I like them.  They are smart investors.  What isn’t in there, is that I have one of the most engaged blogs evvvvah.  People like to talk around here.

Thank Gawd.  Otherwise, I would be talking to myself.  The only place where it is acceptable to talk to a wall is on Facebook.

Tell the dudes and dudettes that I have a brag page too.  Then shout to them that I’ve been featured here, damn it.   That was pretty epic.  So what.

Just tell them that I am legit.  Authentic.   Nice.  I’m even kind of reliable.  I have friends.  Friends like you.  You and I can reliably have fun together.  We have a proven track record.

You and I have a plan.

I need money so that I can eat more chocolate.   Tell the big bosses that I have a chocolate problem.  I have a gaping hole and it needs to be stuffed.  With chocolate.

 

Here’s the bad news.  Some of the big ‘ol burly bosses who want to advertise will be rejected.  I know.  Hard to hear.  Suck it.  I’m fussy.  So are you.  Dang fussy.   My fault.  Your problem.

 

You have standards.  Me too.

 

I like my wine chilled in the summer.

 

 

That’s my level of standards.

 

Easy huh?  What’s your problem?

 

 

A girl has to do what a girl has to do.

 

The gospel truth is that I will only select certain advertisers for the site.  I want this blog to remain hot and sexy looking.  Nothing cheese ball.   Don’t even try.    I will slap you.   I already warned you that I am tougher than a two dollar steak.

Okay, enough of all this talking.  You have a job to do.  Go find your boss.  Oh wait.  Are you the boss?!!!

Perfect.  You will be easy to find.

Now go grab your boss by the collar.  Get their attention.  Don’t snap your fingers at them.  They don’t like that.   Be nice.  Smile.   Bat your eyelashes.   Dance.  Do whatevery it takes to bedazzle them.  Take one for the team.  I need you.

Next….

Look them straight in the eye and bark this command :

Buy an ad on Design The Life You Want to Live !!!

 

Tell them that they will be a superstar.  They will gain lots of  loyal pals and goobs of exposure.  Except be sure to sound smarter than that.

Tell them that there are a lot of cool people who hang out here on this bloggy blog.

Look at you.  You’re cool.  You are here.

Are you a blogger?  Want more traffic?  You can buy an ad on this swoon worthy bloggy too.  Let other people get introduced to your awesome self and get swoony with me.

I’ve advertised on other blogs.  It works.

Spread the fabulous.  Spread the love.  Spread the word.  Advertise here.

 

Let me be a victim of your fabulousness.

 

Is this flattery working?

 

Now is the time to buy an ad on Design The Life You Want to Live http://lynneknowlton ! Get it before the spaces are gone.

 

Mwah, kisses and all that good mushy stuff,

Lynne

Here’s the scoop :

Send big boys here to buy an ad on this site.   I will love you forever.  Okay, I already love you.   That is not the point.   Just do it.   We need to hang out together more often.  xx

 

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24 Responses

  1. That was the BEST advertising post EVER. Makes me want to pull out the visa and take out my first ad, stat! And fyi, cookies talk to me too. All the time.

  2. Fiona says:

    Hey my beautiful lovely,
    can I just shout out to you and the world that your blog is amazing and advertising with you is worth it for the stats, for the image it gives my blog (I am an alternative France based blog and having my banner on your blog gives it a design and also intercontinental vibe to it), for the fact that I just WANT to be associated with you, your clever and witty posts and more than anything, your incredible eye for what’s perfect and what’s tasteful.
    Did I mention your beautiful heart too? That’s also a reason.
    So its great to be part of your blog roll and banners and honestly, I would never, ever want to come off.
    Come on people of the universal internet sphere, get on it and join me in promoting our projects on a cool and beautiful and original blogs like Lynne’s!
    Bisous xxxx

  3. lisa thomson says:

    What a great opportunity. I’m considering it! I have often gotten requests to write about a product or place an ad on my site but the problem is, these things aren’t really related to my topic. They are very low pay as well and not worthwhile it seems. I agree though, to monetize a blog makes sense (cents) couldn’t help it. I just love your energy Lynne and no doubt you have worked very hard to get where you are! It’s amazeballs, your number of followers!!

    • Hey my fellow Canuck Lisa !

      A couple of weeks ago, I attended a blogging conference in Toronto, and that was actually the number one statement I heard from women. Cray cray, but true.

      So many work sooooooo hard on their blog, and want to make a bit of money from it without ‘taking away’ from the look and feel of the blog.

      I have the same requests like you, but I ignore those ones (the are almost spammy, aren’t they?) I get them all the time.

      What I have been doing is really seeking out FAB companies/blogs/sponsors that I already love and ones that I already enjoy a relationship with. If I don’t know them well… I try to get to know them better. It makes me FEEL good, and it’s fun.

      In the past, that has led to great opportunities that not only have some financial payoff, but they are a great source for blog readers too. It means that I can get readers discounts on things, or something free, or a source for a product that is amazeballs. Then, and only then do I post about it. I LOVE THAT.

      I hope more blogs follow the same path. It really is coolio.

      Maybe I should blog about that? LOL. xo

      Kisses

  4. Becky says:

    Damn you.

    Because now I must do this thing.

    I must advertise my blog on your blog.

    You know why? ‘Cause your epic shit inspires my epic shit and let’s be honest the world needs more epic shit, not old shit (stale Doritos = pure sadness).

    So let’s do it, I’m in, I’m signing up, I’m giving you my credit card – ignore it’s pitiful moans, it’s cruising for sympathy due to overuse and I’m ignoring it’s whinging ’cause hey we all got problems and I’m not giving into emotional manipulations from a piece of plastic….

    Let’s get this party freakin’ started!!!

    Damn you,
    Becky

    • Becky !!

      You are a gas. Every time you leave a comment, I want to frame it and put it in the hall of fame of comments.

      What a hoot !!

      I LOVE HOW YOU THINK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      I’m getting a bit excited with those exclamation marks.

      Peeps… go check out Becky’s bloggy !! It’s in the sidebar of the blog up ‘der in the top right side and you can also find it here….

      http://sketchystyles.com

      Mwah !
      Lynne xx

  5. Hey Lynne!
    Lol. Well I guess we should chime in here too. I see that Cate got in on the conversation, which we have had the pleasure of working with on her website and that came from our ad on your site! Small world eh? ;)

    It has been great to watch your rise over these last few years, how much you’ve learned and grown to what you have today.

    It’s just funny how we went from building the site, to advertising on it and now generating referrals from it. We wish you much continued success in following your blogging passion! #keepitgoing

    Many Thanks,
    - Wayne and Selina,
    WayLay Design

  6. This is true! Don’t kick yourself later! It’ll hurt!!!!!!!!

    I advertise on Lynne’s blog for several reasons; friendship and loyalty aside, it has been most beneficial!

    My Beautiful Paris now receives regular emails, and hits, from readers who have come from Lynne’s blog. AND…I love being connected to such an inspiring woman.

    xoxo

    • Hey Norma !

      Great to hear !

      Funny enough, we travel over yonder… across fields and ponds. We fly from one country to the next. We puddle jump. We are so busy working, having fun and breathing it all in…

      We forget to talk about stats. LOL.

      I am so happy to share my peeps with you. They rock out loud. That’s a great fit for you.

      Many hugs ~ my friend. Many hugs,

      xx

  7. Cate Moore says:

    Miss Lynne, IF they only knew how fabulous it is to advertise on your blog – there would be no hesitation!

    We have happily, joyously lived on it for a long time and I need to tell you that the BEST part is that you ARE particular and “fussy”. In an age where anyone can say anything about themselves (online), authenticity is everything ! The proof is in the pudding and you (and your blog) are consistently authentic, valuable, funny, and honest – and THAT, my dear, is rare!

    And, while I know your blog has staggering stats (that’s part of why we advertise – of course) … the people that follow you are the kind of people we want to meet, know, and serve.

    We love this blog for so many reasons, but mostly because from top to bottom it (and you) are the real deal. And that is so refreshing!

    • Dang, thank you Miss Cate !

      It has been lovely having you grace these pages.

      I am speechless.

      Like that ever happens.

      Thanks for your amazeballs feedback on my ad space.

      With much love and kindness…
      Lynne xx

  8. Pete Walker says:

    How many impressions and how often? Cost? Sizes? Is my stuff a fit for the blog?

  9. Shakila says:

    Hi Lynne, I started following your blog just recently and had to write to tell you that I just luuurve you. I’ll pretend thats not creepy :-) As a fellow mom, its so nice to “meet” and derive inspiration from such an awesome person!
    I don’t have anything to advertise but if I did, I definitely would on your site. Thanks for the blog :-)

    • Oh wow Shakila !

      Thank you !!! I’m not creeped out at all. Totally blushing, but not creeped. ha!

      As a Momma…. I totally get it. We all need some inspiration along the way. It is a tough and yet worthwhile job along the way.

      Maybe you have solved the universal problem of how all the laundry has nasty laundry sex and spawn laundry babies with matchless socks?

      Thanks for hanging out on the bloggy.

      I’m totally flattered. You made my day. xx

      • Shakila says:

        Love how you keep life light and laugh with your kids. Reminds me to do the same, its so easy to get bogged down with the to-do list everyday and forget the important thing, right? Laundry babies with matchless socks? Too funny ;-) How awesome are you to reply to every single comment on your blog! If I hadn’t just moved to sunny CA, I would move to snowy CA to be your friend!

  10. Michael Knowlton says:

    Dariling. Good for you for coming clean about your cookie addiction. Do your readers know it’s true… it’s not true! haha. You work so very very hard every day on your blog and you deserve great things to happen… like people reading your blog and people advertising on your blog. Your situation reminds me of the story Tony Robbins tells about how so many entrepreneurs who try and try and try and try… then they give up… just around the same time that a breakthrough is near. We all know you’re not that person who gives up. Keep your legs moving and your fingers typing and I have a funny feeling the rest will take care of itself. After all, you are a two time ‘firewalker’. If you can do that, you can do anything. BTW, I love the way you dream BIG and put others first!. xo

    • Hanging out with Tony Robbins and walking that fire TWICE might have been one of the most epic moments of my life.

      Well…having you in my life every single day… that is even better.

      I remember that day when he said how people try so hard. They hit the wall. They try again. They hit it. They give up.

      I feel like that some days. On one hand, having a blog has been amazeballs. On the other hand, it takes so long and so much work to get it to the point of monetization.

      I want to shoot for the stars. I hope my peeps can help me. I hope I can help them. It will be a beautiful thing. Right? Right.

      Love you, sweetheart.

      Love you.

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