Sit down. This is going to be great. Oh wait. You probably already have ‘yer butt in the chair.
Good job. You are a good listener. I think I like you already.
Why?! I have an announcement to make that is EPIC on epic proportions of epicness.
It is that good <——————- I screamed that
Epic is about to grace this page. Truth is, I couldn’t tell you before now because I wanted to be a bazillion percent sure that I could make it happen. I was so wracked with nerves waiting for it to all come together. I sat at my desk … shaking … sipping vodka from a thermos.
And then it happened.
The vodka drinking AND it all came together.
I designed wicked awesome phone cases. I designed them for YOU. They are awesome. By the way.
They aren’t just any old phone case. They are freaking amazeballs phone cases. Blow your mind gorgy gorgeous phone cases. Sexy as all get out phone cases. One of a kind. Über unique. Each of them are individually hand crafted. Limited Edition. They are d’bomb dot com.
You've come to expect that from me, haven't you? Admit it. Don't make me arm punch you. Because I will.
Need I say more?
Okay. I will. Thank you very much. Let me tell you about my small. town. phone. case. test. drive :
My phone case samples arrived yesterday. I have only waited four thousand three hundred and 22 hours, six hundred minutes and twenty nine seconds. Not that I was counting.
News flash: I live in the country. It is hard to do market research in small places. The closest town has a population of 12 people. Not all of them have teeth.
MY SMALL TOWN STORY
What did I do after I received the phone cases yesterday? I happy danced all over the kitchen, like any Queen of the household would. Then, I put the new case on my phone and drove straight to town. I went for an
obviouscasual stroll down the centre of town. I flashed the case at the grocery store clerk. I shook it in the face of the gas attendant. Yes. We still have guys that pump gas in Canadian small towns. I’m as shocked about that as you are.
I stunned him with my phone case stun gun. AKA … I waved my phone case in his face in a Z formation. My next tall order was to have it peeking out of my pocket in a
super obvioussubtle way. Translation : I shoved it in the face of even more innocent strangers. I jumped up and down and waved it at passer-bys. I ran up and down the grocery store aisle with it like a crazed nut bar who just scored the winning goal at hockey. I danced it out. I never did find the milk I was looking for, but the stock boy in the grocery store gave me his approval.
It’s sick … okay … his words. But still. I was inspired. So I stole a baby stroller. I put my case in it like a new born baby. I lifted the blanket and said ” Hey strangers, look at my gorgeous baby. She doesn’t even cry. Not a peep outta her. Isn’t she the prettiest and quietest little thing you ever did see? Gush “
Market Research Results :
I can say, without a doubt, that this phone case is highly recommended by at least three people. One of them is wondering where her baby stroller went.
I’m so proud. I high-fived myself.
Need some inspiration on how to get pumped up and enjoy your biz life? … Here it is …
Did you watch it? Do it. I will wait for you. Hurry up. I’m really friggin’ excited AND I need you to be in a good mood when you admire my phone cases.
” There will be more corn dogs and more happy people. Life is tough, but so are you. Say something nice. Say anything, but say it nice.“
Each of these phone cases are crafted from one-of-a-kind DESIGN THE LIFE YOU WANT TO LIVE photography. They have handwritten fonts by yours truly. I like artsy with my fartsy.
* All phone cases will be delivered with a gift card for YOU, personalized with a super unique gorgeous photo.
Oh wait. There is more. Holy batman, huh?
* Every phone will come in a personalized cotton bag. It is adorbs. I swear it.
Icing on the cake :
Blog subscribers will be the first to see the limited edition phone cases. They will be the first to know when the phone cases are available for sale. Because the cases are limited edition only ~ when they are gone, they are gone. Like my skinny waistline. Gone. Never to be seen again. Shut your face, chocolate.
There is more. Blog subscribers will also get a discount. Holy batman. I clearly DO lurve you.
If you want in as a blog subscriber, now is your chance. If you are a current subscriber, I’ve got your back… you’re already in for early notification and discounts. Done. No worries there.
For all you other peeps who are not yet subscribed, enter your email here to make that happen or in the box below:
Bloggers and Brands : We are initiating an affiliate program too. If you would like to jump in on that, lemme know. Pick up that flag and let’s go charging up the hill together.
Let’s go on a journey where we all can inspire and empower each other. Let’s taste this awesomeness together. We have an appetite for beautiful and delicious things, don’t we? Yessssss.
These phone cases need some exposure. So far, the only exposure they get around here is when I go outside in the Canadian winter in my sports bra.
” You have BBQ sauce on your shirt. That’s okay. I have BBQ sauce on my shirt too. Thank you. Everything is going to be okay. Just tell people you are awesome and mean it. “
Tell me what you want, what you really really want.
Let’s get ready to live life out loud. These phone cases will provide hours of fun and better hair days too.
” Wherever you are today, I hope you know that you have everything you need to make your world awesome. You got that? “