Category Archives: Love & Wellness

How to make theeee. most. insanely. ahhmazing. massage. oil. evahh.

ESSENTIAL OILS uses: How to make the best massage oil with essential oils. A DIY aromatherapy massage oil recipe with free downloadable printable labels.

Erhhmergerd, sh*t happens: DIY toilet spray

    Have you ever tried Poo-Pourri ?  It works.  It fools the world into thinking that your poop doesn’t stink.  PooPourri essentially traps the poopy stench beneath the surface of the toilet bowl water and releases only fancy-schmancy smells into …

10 reasons why cancer is like a drunken sailor…

    Why is cancer like a drunken sailor?   You just never know what they’re gonna do. Cancer has a way of picking a fight with a person, don’tcha think?  It’s a gut wrenching mofo.  The big C has …

Life lately: Do you know what rhymes with Friday? Vodka

  What have you been up to, chicken poo?  I’ve missed you.  Wait.  I’m a poet and I didn’t know it.  Ugh.  Should I just throat punch MYSELF? What have I been up to lately?!!   I’ve been getting it on with my …

36 Ways To Tell If You Had An Epic Childhood

  36 ways to know if you had an epic childhood…   1.   You knew how to smoke a Popeye cigarette    2.   You wore tin foil on your teeth & pretended it was braces.   3.   …

Where in the WORLD are you?

  Wooohoooo !! Hello lovely !! It’s almost holiday time and time for drinking liquid fermented grapes. Don’t forget to be awesome. Don’t sip too much out-ta the crazy straw.  You’ll be moving slower than jello and I might have to make …

Grab book. Sit down. Whoomphff. READ. Ahhhh…

Go ahead.  Shut the front door.  Now run for it.  Sprint your buttocks straight to the sofa. JUMP! Whoomphfff. Have you landed your butt down on the fluffy sofa?  Ahhh, good.     Grab a fantabulous book and chillax.  That’s what finding …

Be weird. Normal is the new boring.

    Helllooooo Pumpkin !  Have I told you lately ?  Have I really told you?  Man, I lurve ya and I’ve missed ya.   Get ready.   This month is going to be a hot one on the blog. …

3 Day Detox Cleanse for Skinny Hips & Fast Lips

    It happened.  The holidays ended.  Damn it.  I’m super bummed that inhaling sweets and mainlining whipped creamed pumpkin pie came to a grinding halt. I ate my way across Ontario.  I should have jogged back home.  I didn’t. …

10 Words To Describe YOU. GO !

  Pour yourself a stiff cup of energy mud.  Coffee will give you an unrealistic expectation of productivity.  Perfect.  You need that right now.   Chomp down on a chunky bar of chocolate.   Get a sugar high, and then …