HOLIDAY SHOPPING: The Do’s and Don’ts

The do's and don'ts of holiday shopping

‘Tis the season to make lists.

Looooooong lists.

Longer than your arm.

Longer than a trip to the North Pole.

LONG.

Do you ever just ADD something on a list purely for the pleasure of scratching it off the list?

 Oh hells ya.

You are weird.

And now, officially, my new BFF.

Merry Christmas, Shopping at Christmas, Christmas tree

The Do’s and Don’ts CHRISTMAS List :

 

Do drink a lot of rum and eggnog.

 

Don’t  confess it.  It is the new normal.  Spiking your eggnog is a national Canadian pastime at Christmas.  Shhhh.

 

Do some one stop shopping and multitask like a shopping ninja.

 

Don’t forget where you parked your car in the shopping mall parking lot.

 

Do thank the person who walked out of the mall at the perfect moment that you neeeeeeeded that parking spot.  Maybe wink at them inappropriately.  *blush*

 

Don’t give the finger to the dirty bugger person who hoodwinked you and stole your parking spot.  Taser him.

 

Do shop for presents and think about your presence.  Time is a gift.

 

Don’t eat all the candy off the gingerbread house before you go shopping.  Blame the missing candy on the dog.  It works every ~ single ~ time.

 

 

Gingerbread house

 

I recently went on a last minute shopping marathon shopping spree with my daughters. I have four children.  Shopping for them at Christmas is like shopping for an entire village of smurfs.

 It is wild.

 It is hairy.

 

Sometimes it is desperate.  Last minute, I start wrapping toilet paper rolls in Christmas wrap and throw them under the tree.  Occasionally, I will wrap a barn cat.  Sometimes a boot.  An odd sock.

 

Anything in Christmas wrap looks extraordinary.

 

Note : This should only be attempted by professionals.  BEWARE :  When the suspect gifts get opened, wave your arms frantically and pretend the tree is on fire.  No one will notice the scurrying cat.

 

But…but….but…. this Christmas season was a whole new thaaaaang.

I rolled over a new Christmas leaf.

Applause puhhhlease.

Handmade Christmas ornament, decorating at christmas time

Air – HIGH FIVES !

 

We planned a family road trip to Toronto for a shopping DATE. Have you ever had a date with your kids?

 

~ It is epic and torturous all at once ~

My thoughts :

Ok, I’ll play the game.  What could go wrong?  Pipsqueaks kids can be trolls.  I’m just kidding.  Not really.  Seriously.  But I went for it.  Shopping with kids is for the bravest of the brave.

My three daughters and I just went for it.

Hopped in the car, destination Timbuktu.

Jokes.

Destination :  Square One Shopping Mall.

I was a bit worried at first.  Would I be on the corner of 23rd and hell ?  Did I eat a big plate of crazy ?

 

Christmas shopping, Christmas ornament, blog post, Christmas gifts, holidays

 

Our date in the mall meant lunch together.  We hit up MOXIES and rocked it out loud.  There wasn’t any gum under the table and the restaurant was downright sexy.

It could have been the wine.

‘Tis the season to be Merry  * hiccup *

The kids and I laughed so hard, a bellini shot out of someones nose.

Not naming names.  Tristan. 

Christmas ornament, Christmas Shopping, Christmas time with family,handmade ornaments

Vroom.    Vroom.    Vroom.

*  The shopping day was a huge hit.   And no one got hit.  No one opened the can of whoop-ass.

 

 

Christmas ornaments, Christmas shopping, Christmas gifts

No sweaty balls allowed. Ok, I don’t have balls. But if I did, I wouldn’t sweat-ty them.

Why is it that every time I write a blog post, BALLS get talked about ?

Weird.

My fault.

 Your problem.

LOL.

The do's and don'ts of Holiday shopping - in a fun way !

 

 

Gingerbread house

Fish oil makes you healthy to cope with moments like this. GINGERBREAD FEAST.

 

 

My date day life lesson :

 

Go on dates with your kids.  It is epic.  It is memorable.

Christmas shopping, Square One, Blogging, Holidays, Christmas time

Remember, life can be a crazy straw.  Up and down and all over the place with crazy twists and turns.

Slow it down.

Don’t get your tinsel in a twist.

Life is BIGGER than Christmas.

Merry Christmas my friends.

Much love to each and every one of you.

Lynnexx

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19 Responses

  1. Lynne, you’re hilarious! I can’t believe you went to Sq 1 on your own accord. I say this as someone who spent her entire youth working retail in that mall putting herself through University. I spent over 8 Boxing Days in that mall, spent countless hours in the food court and survived Christmas shopping too many times to count. After a decade + of doing it all at the Eaton Centre it’s still by far my favourite mall in Ontario. Glad you all had a great time. Hey I don’t knock Omega 3’s. 🙂

    • Lynne Knowlton says:

      You may be the bravest woman on earth Alex !

      All those years in retail ? Did you trip anyone? Punch anyone? LOL.

      Wowsers ! Can you sell ice to eskimos now?

      You like omega 3’s too? You must be a brave woman with damn sexy hair and healthy looking skin.

      Happy holidays.
      Big smooch
      Lynne x

  2. Tracie says:

    Merry Christmas Lynne! Sometimes I add things to my list that I’ve already done, just so it looks like I’ve done soooo much when I scratch them off!!! I made your Bailey’s at Christmas, took half to my sister’s hoping we could all have a shot……she HOGGED IT ALL!! I should have known better as she is the Bailey’s Queen, my mistake for sure, haha…..I will make it again for sure too, yummmmmm.. Continue to love your posts, charming decorations, and so many great ideas. I’ll be happy next Christmas that I don’t have to stress so much, now I know I will make a plan. I bought white sheers from Ikea the other day, I LOVE them…if only I could find a branch long enough for my window, sigh. I make dates with my Grandkids, I love that, I remember my Grandad taking my younger sister and I out once a month for dinner and a movie as kids, what awesome memories…….I try for that.
    Thank you for your site, you have no idea how much you lift my spirits and warm my heart—just when I need it most. All the best to you and your beautiful family in this New Year, and may whoever is in charge of this crazy life, give you all their blessings……xoxoxo

    • Lynne Knowlton says:

      Merry Ho Ho and Happy New Year Tracie !!

      Thank you so much for your absolutely beautiful comment. You have no idea how comments like that just keep my mojo runnin’.

      It really feels GREAT to hear such a fabulous compliment that my site lifts your spirits and warms your heart. That makes it all feel so worthwhile for me.

      It seems like …just when I ask myself the question…what the hell am I doing blogging in my jammies ?! LOL….I hear words like yours and think…

      ahhh, that is why.

      Big hugs to you and THANK YOU for all your beautiful love and support along the way. I am so very very very grateful. xx

  3. Kevin Ross says:

    Merry Christmas & Happy New Year, Lynne ! You are a brave lass, venturing to Square One at Christmas time !!! The closest I got was Whole Foods (a store I love!). Hope you have a safe and happy holiday !
    Kevin…

    • Lynne Knowlton says:

      Haha Kevin
      Thank Gawwwd I ventured to Whole Foods. It is helping me deal with my smurf belly from Christmas. Do you suppose the fish oil will save me and melt away fat LOL?

      It may be too late. I ate my way across the holidays. Ohhh what fun it was.

      How about you?!
      xx

  4. Rose Dostal says:

    WISHING YOU AND YOUR FAMILY A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR LYNNE!!

    • Lynne Knowlton says:

      Right back atcha my friend ! See you in the New year !!!! Can’t wait for the interior design show. I will be there with bells on. LOL. As long as ‘bells on’ doesn’t mean that I need to be there naked with bells on. That won’t be pretty.
      Luvvvvs ya !
      Happy Ho Ho Rosie posie puddin’ and pie.

  5. Thanks for a slow-down on the 24th! Yes, my lists are insane. Just an fyi- fish oil is delicious- especially the mango one! And I still need a pair of those fantastic-ass lulu pants. Have a fantastic Christmas!

    • Lynne Knowlton says:

      Mango ?! They make mango too ?! Oh me, oh my…this could get even more interesting. Who knew that fish oil could get so fancy ? And YUM ?! Helloooo come to momma.
      🙂

  6. Janet says:

    Hee hee
    I can’t believe your post actually makes me WANT to go to Square One. I’ve spent more time there in my life than I care to admit – because I worked there in high school! But it wasn’t as good as it is now. Did you go to Crate & Barrel too?
    I promise when my kids are old enough to drink in restaurants and not play X’s and O’s on the tables, I will take them on a shopping date 🙂

    • Lynne Knowlton says:

      LOL Janet !

      It is true, it is true….Square One is sooooo pretty now. They have renovated & now you can have fun with that gorgeous iPhone of yours ! Bet you didn’t have THAT in high school. Haha…we were lucky to have a telephone (attached to a wall) in our rooms in high school. How old are we ?!!! LOL.

      You worked at Square One? Impressive ! I worked at Swiss Chalet with those tacky dresses and really bad white ‘nursing’ shoes. You were waaaay cooler than me.

      Crate and Barrel is DIVINE ! I flopped myself on all the chairs and got all googly eyed at every-single-thing-in-the-store. I literally LOVED all of it. Dangerously fun. I almost pee’d my pants with excitement.

      Have a very Merry Ho Ho my friend.

      Lovesss ya !

  7. Maribel says:

    Merry Christmas Lynne, you always make me laugh so hard! Have a great time with the fam. I can’t wait to your posts in 2013 – many hugs!

    • Lynne Knowlton says:

      Thank you Maribel….
      For all the blog love that you sent to me in 2012. I am soooo very grateful. It is what inspires me to think funny and live funny. Thanks you for that !
      I hope you have a great holiday and an epic New Year ! Cheers to a FAB 2013 !!
      Smooch smooch xx

  8. yvonne bratkin says:

    that was hilare lynne u always manage to crack me up…fishoil ha…hmmmm can we hide it in baileys

    • Lynne Knowlton says:

      ahha Evie
      I think we should hide the piña colada fish oil in a coconut with some rum while sitting on a beach.
      Oh hells ya. Dreaming. Dreaming…..and it isn’t of a WHITE Christmas. Unless it is WHITE sand.
      🙂

  9. Shelley says:

    Again you made me laugh. Now who could wrap Christmas, Fish oil, Shopping, Whole Foods into one post. You m’dear and with great talent! Way to go, Lynne!

    Merry Christmas to you and yours!

    xo

    • Lynne Knowlton says:

      Thanks for the Merry Ho Ho Shelley

      I have no idea how my head can think of fish oil, Christmas and shopping in one blog post. LOL. I am weird like that. haha !

      Have a great holiday !!

      Lynne xx

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