DEAR CANCER ~ You Can Kiss MY Ass

Dealing with #cancer ? Read more on Design The Life You Want To Live www.lynneknowlton.com You CANcer vive. xx

 

Dear Cancer,

You can kiss my ass.

Yup. Said it.  ASS.  We have met before.  Too many times, in fact.

We were introduced through family, through friends, acquaintances and even strangers.  I am writing to you today, as I have done before.  Remember when I told you to KISS MY BUTT ? Errrh, well now I am swearing, and saying ASS.

I am feeling a bit more bold.  Take that, Cancer….  And kiss it.

Stick it where the sun don’t shine.

More importantly, I am here to now officially say to you Cancer ~ You kissed it.  In the countless stories I have heard about you, it is so refreshing to share a positive one.

A story of a guy named Michael Knowlton (my hubby) and how he has fought you like a chemo marathoner.  And won.  He won big.

Like the lottery, but only better.

He’s alive.   That’s a win.

 

 

I would even go so far as to say that he looked you in the face * Cancer * ….and gave you the big fat middle finger.

Then he drop kicked you when you weren’t looking.

If  you had a face * CANCER * he punched it.

Right square between the eyes.

 

 

He knocked you so far back into another century, that your Cancer clothes are outta style.

If the world was flat, he threw you * CANCER *  right off of it.

 

 

For me personally….CANCER is the one thing, the one disease, where I throw all my punches.  I flail my arms like a big sissy and take a big flying girly swing. A girl has to do, what a girl has to do….

And damn it, I never wanna miss.

 

I’m not gonna lie.

I have lived a life surrounded by Cancer.  Haven’t most of us?  Don’t be freaked out at this moment, and run out the back door.

I tried it, and it doesn’t work.

Like many of you, I have had a front row seat to watching Cancer.

They might even be box seats.

Seats with premium views, and double buttered popcorn.

 

For those of you who know our family personally, I must confess that I have been feeling sorta guilty.  No blog posts of late on Cancer.  I have been having such a hoot blogging about design, travels, and inspiration, that I didn’t even bother to blog about the life in between.

My bad.

Too bad, so sad.

 My fault, your problem 🙂

 

 

I would like to promise that I will blog more about Cancer updates but that would be a big fat juicy lie.   I really don’t want to talk about cancer sometimes.

 

 

 

 

I promised the scoop on Michael so here it is…

There was time when Michael was so sick, he required TWO blood transfusions.  His slow-growing Cancer suddenly kicked into high gear.  It revved its engine and took off like a bat outta hell.  He was literally yellow.  Almost green like Kermit the Frog. Without the cute frog accent.  His blood counts were dangerously low.  He had night sweats that looked like a floating lake on his chest.  With waves.  Big water waves.  He was sleeping like a dog on a hot summers night.  Couldn’t drag his butt outta bed ~ unless we hollered “dinner!!”.  He lost weight.

His bone marrow was infiltrated with 75% of Cancer.

  Noooo kidding. Freaky, right ?!

Remember….don’t run out the back door, it doesn’t work.

 

Chemotherapy walked in our front door.  It looked him right in the face.  We decided at that moment that Chemotherapy is not poison, it is LOVE JUICE.  It is the healing potion.  Believe me, I know what an oxymoron that sounds like.  Lived it ( by watching it), been there, got the freakin’ poster.

 

 

He has had 7 monthly rounds of chemotherapy, and a week of steroids in between.  No he does not look like the incredible hulk.  Maybe the green part occasionally, but that is where it ends.  He does look FABULOUS though, and he has been fighting the cancer fight like a fine tuned athlete.  He is fighting a cancer that occurs ONE IN A MILLION.

He is one rare dude.

A dude who knows how to fight cancer with peak performance.

So the big scoop of Michael’s Peak Performance in his fight against Cancer is that his chemo should {kinda} end in one month.

{ this is where you jump up and down and throw things all over the room in excitement }

Never mind if anyone is looking.

I do it all the time.  It is fine.  Do the Happy Dance !

Someday, I hope that he will have the chance to share his story and continue his incredible business work.  He is a world-class facilitator, and if I get the chance to stand in the room and watch him tell his story…

 

It may be the best day of my life.

 

 

In the big picture, for the next two years, he will do chemotherapy every three months.  He may continue this style of maintenance Chemotherapy for up to 5 years.   Yup 5 years.  That sounds a pinch daunting.. 5 years more of chemo ~but then again, the way I see it…at least the daisies will be growing under his feet.

 I like that better than the alternative.

So rather than think HOLY SH*T….2 to 5 more years of chemo ??!!!! whaaaat ?? I think….

We have him.  We have him here.

That is something to celebrate.

And it reminded me….

*

WE CAN SURVIVE

*

WE CAN-CER VIVE.

Do Epic Shit, because it Matters.

Lynne

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68 Responses

  1. Pingback: When cancer takes the life of someone you love ... | Design The Life You Want To Live

  2. Janet says:

    Hey Lynne –
    You make me laugh out loud and giggle like a kid in big church.
    Thank you!
    My sis’s hubby has been duking it out with tongue cancer. Only 4 mo so far. Still inconclusive re lymph nodes. I’m in TX. They + 4 young-uns are in Chicago. When family reaches out to you – was there anything special that stood out as far as support for you and Michael? I call all the time and have flown up for reinforcements. I have left messages for Dumbledore. Any other suggestions?
    Janet

  3. Danica says:

    Came across your site through the twitter world, so inspiring and so beautifully written.

    My husband has a tattoo on his upper arm that’s stands for his second chance at life….he is a true believer in second chances and ensuring you live everyday to its fullest.

    No job is every to hard for him. The tattoo is a picture of a cross on the top it says “PART II” on the bottom “HOLD MY OWN” it represents his second chance at life after his work accident where he suffered severe burns to his legs. No task is every too large to conquer.

    Your husband sounds like a fighter and he has a great cheerleader by his side. Looking forward to following along your journey and sending positive thoughts along the way.

  4. Tara says:

    What a wonderful story (of course not the actual story is wonderful, but hopefully you know what I mean!)… your husband sounds like a wonderful brave man. I feel fortunate that I haven’t had anyone close to me with cancer (although I have had my fair share of other medical issues). Keep fighting the good fight… love your words!

    • Lynne Knowlton says:

      Hello Tara
      Nice to see you again :). I need to stand beside you and let you rub off on me. No one close to you with cancer?!!! Ohhhh you lucky dog. The luckiest dog evvvha. Thanks for your incredibly awesome comment.
      Big love
      Lynne

  5. Jennifer Clark says:

    I love your courage and spunk. You said it! you might want to look into

    http://www.facebook.com/saferchemicals and spread the info. Its American, but same problems.

    Wishing Micheal healing and hope and strength for you all

    Jen and edgehill friends

    • Lynne Knowlton says:

      Hi Jennifer !!
      Glad you found me. It was so AWESOME to see you in the funky pet store. Holy smokes, is that place GREAT or what?!
      Let me know when the Edgehill shin-dig is going on…..we would love to be there.
      Lynne xx

  6. @Susanandtrixie on twitter says:

    Hi Lynne,
    I met you on Twitter today
    Love your website!
    (I lost both my parents to cancer, My father’s was super rare. )
    Find time to laugh, !
    Your family and pics are lovely!
    Stay strong! keep kicking cancer’s ass!
    x Susan

    • Lynne Knowlton says:

      Hi Susan
      It was awesome to meet you today! I had such a laugh reading your tweets !
      What kind of cancer did your Dad have?
      Thx for sending the ‘stay strong’ vibes!!! It truly helps us to kick cancer in the big fat butt.
      Cheers !!
      Lynne xx

      • @Susanandtrixie on twitter says:

        My Father had survived prostate cancer to come down with GIST gastro- intestinal stromal tumor.
        A kind of sarcoma that around 8500 people a year get worldwide. It’s treated with a biological agent (pill form) called Gleevec.
        My mom had Endometrial cancer.
        I’ve met a lot of survivors who carry on to have long full lives.
        Again I hope you stay strong (and read funny tweets daily!)
        Sending love and healing vibes-Susanxox

  7. Lulu says:

    You made my day! I just found your beautiful and INSPIRING spot this morning. I needed some beauty and motivation. I don’t battle cancer, but deal with Crohn’s, lupus and RA and a few other names that aggravate and then motivate. I plan to visit often and hope to hear more good news about your husband and be enchanted by the things you create–like your balls…sorry, I don’t have a brilliant “other name” for them, either! But thanks…you made me smile, tear up, and celebrate the fact that we are all STILL HERE.

    Blessings to you and your husband…

    Lulu,
    Dallas

    • Lynne Knowlton says:

      Dear Lulu
      I must say, your note touched our hearts, so deeply. As soon as I saw it, I read it to Michael. You made OUR DAY !!
      Sounds like you have a big plate FULL too…and I am happy to make a wee difference in your life.
      A smile, a tear, we are all in this together… most importantly…you are right…WE ARE STILL HERE.
      Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for writing. I am touched that you sent me a comment.
      Big love to you,
      Lynne xx

  8. Kim Bee says:

    This had me transfixed. Could not look away or stop reading. I figure if you guys are brave enough to live it, I can be brave enough to read it. Your attitude is amazing and I admire your strength. I took care of my Dad for close to a year during his battle with lung cancer. He wanted to be at home. So I threw it all on the line and took care of him during it. Luckily I lived close by so I jockeyed back and forth when I could, then had my fam visit me at dad’s when I couldn’t. Best and worst time of my life. I finally got to know my dad only to lose him. Life sucks, cancer sucks harder but you guys are kicking it’s suckie ass.

    • Lynne Knowlton says:

      Dear Kim
      To tell you the truth, your comment gave me tears in my eyes. As a blogger, you know how it can be that someone leaves a comment…one that can just stick in your heart. That happened to me when you wrote. Thank you for that.
      I know exactly what you mean about what it is like to go through cancer with your Dad. I did the same. It brings you so close, and then they are taken so far away. As my Dad used to say…”you can still call me after I pass away, it will just be a long distance call.” He also said that his last cheque will be to the funeral home, and he hopes it bounces. What a crazy goof ball he was.
      I totally felt your words….’BEST AND WORST TIME OF MY LIFE’.
      THANK YOU..for sharing that with me. I am so grateful that you wrote. So very, very grateful.
      With a big hug, and a big heart….much love…
      Lynne xx

  9. Pingback: bullfrogs & bulldogs | design the life you want: lynne knowlton

  10. quintessence says:

    HUGE kudos to you, your Cancer Warrior husband and resilient family!! Just LOVE your story and positive energy!!

  11. What a wonderful post … you kick ass girl!
    Prayers and blessings to you and your lovely family.
    xoxoxo

  12. Lynne: I admire your positive attitude and how you’ve injected perserverance and humor into something so dire — I know together you and Michael will win this god-awful battle. We should all use you as a role model of how to stand up to adversity, brush yourself off and win the damn battle we all face one way or another in our lives everyday – touching,
    xo tamara stephenson

  13. Morgan Wade says:

    That is amazing! I have Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and recently kicked it and now feel great! So I can relate. I enjoy your blog and thank you for your words!

    • You have Lymphoma too? You kicked it ? Whhhooohoooo !!!! I love hearing stories where Cancer gets kicked to the curb. Sounds like you gave it a swift kick in the butt !!! Congrats ! You are incredible! ….Lynne xx

  14. Pingback: I’M HAVING A HOT STEAMY LOVE AFFAIR | DESIGN THE LIFE YOU WANT TO LIVE

  15. Philippe and Suzana says:

    Hi Lynne, let’s celebrate when you come back to Sèvres ! I liked the post and the pictures are cool and most of it it’ s great news ! Congrats to Michael 🙂

  16. Truly Medium says:

    You probably appreciate life more than most people from dealing with this all around you. I send you and your hubby best wishes, a strong recovery and lots of love.

  17. Paul Taylor says:

    Real Nice news Lyney:

    Mike is such an inspiration, he is so strong. Great family, really want to see you guys soon!!

  18. You are an inspiration too. I can hardly say the words of how I feel about this wonderful news. One in a million!!!!!….I am so happy for his strength of commitment to live a full and engaging life. love you….Mom

  19. Hi Lynn–

    Chemo is hell–been there and back–but its much better than the alternative…and a positive attitude (plus I thanked God for what he gave me daily)..my ono asked me if I prayed cause 10% of hopeless cases are cured and docs don’t know why ….that and visualizing it being gone

    Recently I received a email from a fellow artist – hopeless case- he beat it with nothing- docs are amazed…(if you are Michael want or need to talk my email is godenfineart@yahoo.com)

    Reading your post gives me a insight of what my husband (a Michael too) & kids went through when I was sick.

    One thing I never is give c a capital letter- most of the time I only use c instead of the word—no extra publicity from me—

    peace & luv
    Joyce

    • Hi Joyce ! Wow what a beautiful insight. You are right, I don’t typically give cancer the capital C either but this time I wanted to highlight it since we were KICKING IT IN THE BUTT =). Otherwise, using that C word can be dangerous, especially with my MOM reading the blog. haha. Thank u for sharing your journey with me too. See u in the twitterverse. Much love, Lynne xx

  20. Pat Folliott says:

    See…we Blue Devils know how to put the puck in the net no matter the odds! Inspirational leader then, inspirational leader now Michael. Gutsy, never-say-never sweat hogs rule! Although I must say, your linemates on this new rink are destined for the Hall of Fame. 🙂 With Lynne at centre you will win every draw and every battle in the corners. So thrilled to learn of this news. Group hug and much love. Pat

  21. Sam says:

    Holy friggin amazing Lynne!!!!!! Oh man you making me cry over here! I knew you would make Cancer kiss your asses! I just knew it.
    XOXOOXOXOXO
    Sam

  22. Lori Franks says:

    you guys kicked cancer to the curb!!

  23. Leslie says:

    What an amazing story. You have an amazing outlook on life and living with illness/disease. Next week I’m doing a post for Glassybaby founder Lee Rhodes (3 time cancer survivor) in the Pacific Northwest and I plan to share this story. Enjoy your upcoming trip to Paris and thank you for sharing.

    .

  24. Deborah says:

    Just when I think I couldn’t adore you more… This was a fabulous blog post to read! I am SO SO SO happy for Michael, you and your family. I can’t see how cancer has a chance with you doing battle. I’ve been hootin, hollerin and carryin on myself this week: 16 year-old niece got a clean MRI after chemo round (brain tumor). This is the best week EVER! Now and forevermore, cancer can kiss ass. xoxo

  25. That is OUTSTANDING news Lynne! I was so excited to read this!!! I don’t even “know” you guys, but I feel for you so much in this journey and was just thrilled to read you got some great news 🙂
    I totally believe what we focus on grows…and your positive focus is clearly working for you.
    Keep doing that happy dance…keep kicking cancer’s ASS….keep up that amazing attitude of yours…keep doing Epic Sh*t….the best is yet to come :))

  26. I love the way you stare cancer in the face and show it how mighty and powerful you are! That is so very exciting about your bunnies news. I’m doing the happy dance all the way from Oregon!

  27. I’m with the rest of them in the crying camp…tears of joy. Love your style and your story telling and LOVE that Michael is beating the crap out of cancer…whoo hooooo! BIG hug to you, Michael and the kids.

  28. Quite the journey you, your hubby and chidren have travelled and are still travelling. No doubt being a ‘Peak Performer” has made the road you’re forced to take together, slightly less bumpy. Wishing you smooth sailing, for the next five years (if need be)….and a wonderful end destination. Enjoy Paris Lynne.
    Hugs, Mo

  29. Wayne says:

    That’s great news! Congrats to you and your family. So glad to hear it and that things are on the upswing. What a great way to start the new year!

  30. Elyse says:

    “Love juice” — you’ve gotta love that term. Congratulations and best wishes to you and Michael.

  31. I love that your kid commented.
    I love that you are so flippin’ positive.
    xo

  32. Anonymous says:

    Hi Lynne,
    What a coincidence. As you know I have the same cancer as your husband and TODAY I had my first of the many coming 3 month maintenance chemo sessios. This chemo was much easier than the others as it is just the wonder drug Rituxamab (Rituxan), some oral anti nausea pills and in my case Hydrocortisone (to prevent reactions).
    I keep my ear to the ground on the research for this cancer and cancers that are similar and I am very pleased to observe that a great many new break throughs are on the way. I am willing to bet that some thing better than Rituximab will be available in 2 to 5 years to help beat this orphan cancer out of existence.

    • :))) I am crossing my fingers, toes, and everything in~between and dreaming of that day. Until then, may you continue to Kick Cancer in the Butt too! You, like Michael, are a Cancer warrior…and I am sending all my love and Angels your way to whoop Cancer in the butt.
      Much love, Lynne xx

  33. Tristan says:

    Mommy that blog post made me cry happy tears! You really nailed it! Dad is one hell of a fighter.. thanks for being the rock of the family through this hard journey.

  34. Jo says:

    Beautiful Mrs Knowlton this is a fabulous post I love reading everything you write: you, your family your life and your hope’s and aspirations are frankly awe inspiring, and having watched the wonderful Michael delivering helping clients succeed to a room of 70 French sales execs I can confirm it’s quite frankly the best thing I have ever ever seen. “Cancer see yourself firmly off the table, and in the words of the Great Mahan “That’s too is an ok choice !” xxxx love the Stewarts xxxx

    • Ah Jo ~ a big fat hug right backatcha. Love what you said ” Cancer….see yourself firmly OFF THE TABLE”..made me laugh out loud thinking of all the times we tell the kids the same thing. LOL xx

  35. Great post Lynne…made me cry at the end. What a fighter! Love you both. xoxo

  36. CarolynB says:

    Beautiful post and portrayal of your and your husband’s courage, spirit, and love. Yourdeep joy at his survival is expressed so well. Wishing you both many happy and healthy years together.

  37. Bee says:

    I absolutely love your description of your feelings and I hung on every word because, we who have had cancer visit us, want to say exactly what you just said, but don’t know how. Kick Ass Michael, way to go, you are the one in a million that has an Angel on your shoulder. Any you have Lynne as your cheerleader. Hope Paris Rocks your world. Don’t look ahead to what is after your reading glasses and dentures, because THERE IS MORE TO COME! But it sounds like you are tough enough to handle anything. Thanks for sharing.

  38. margo says:

    Thank You. Cancer is an ugly unwanted houseguest for us as well. I needed this post today to pull my head out of the rain. I was eating fig newtons in bed AND crying. Positive Warrior face is back on! although i may still be eating some fig newtons…. 😉

  39. as usual you are one amazing chick, my twitter friend. Hope all the best for you, Michael and the kids. And after reading this…you are entitled to vodka with a little lime twist, and some fun and expensive new fancy shoes to do the “beat ya” dance. Thanks for sharing your warrior story!

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