Hello WATER. Bye bye muffin top. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Who the hell wants muffin top?  Muffin top is for the birds.  The fat pudgy birds.

Hey muffin top… hit the road, Jack… and don’tcha come back no more, no more, no more, no more.

Do you have that song stuck in your head now?   Welcome to my world.  It’s a gas.

A detox water recipe that tastes great ! Read about it on the blog lynneknowlton.com

A little junk in the trunk is okay if you are J-Lo.  Otherwise, I like to cleanse my body with an infusion of water water water.

Detox cleansing water.  It’s a water-gasm.

This cleansing water is the bees knees ….the cats pyjamas…it will float your boat….fly your kite….and slam your door…. to a better body.  One that weighs less and feels good !

Muffins ~ YES

Muffin top ~ NO

At the end of the day, extra weight lands somewhere.  I would like it to land on my neighbour.

Not me.

Or maybe we could all possibly send the extra weight to our boobs?!!  Unless you are a guy.  A guy would only wish for the added boobery on others.

 

A detox water recipe that tastes great ! Read about it on the blog lynneknowlton.com

 

Why am I writing a post about detoxing with water, and I sound like a perv ?!

My bad.

My fault.

Your problem.  Ha!

Let’s talk about cleansing our bodies with water.  Every once in a while it is nice to cleanse our temples when they are full of cupcakes and happy hour bevies.

Life is good.  Suck it up, buttercup.   Sure, we drink water.   Awesome water.

A detox water recipe that tastes great ! Read about it on the blog lynneknowlton.com

 

In my head, I want to be svelte.  Problem:  Working out at gym.  Physical fitness. Eeeeeeeeeek.

The thought of going to a gym induces my gag reflex.

Do you love to work out?  If so, our thought processes are on polar opposites of the planet.   I’m surely living on mars.  With pudgy aliens.  In my own world of NO WORKOUTS.

It seems to me that most people love a good workout.   Why does everyone else like to break a sweat on a treadmill ?!  The horrors.  I’d rather contemplate chocolate and a lot of it.  I might throw a strawberry in there for good measure.

The goal is… truly… to get to the chocolate.

Chocolate is what makes the world go around.

 

Do you love chocolate ? YUM ! Read a cleansing water recipe to get rid of the extra junk in the trunk.  It's all on the blog lynneknowlton.com

 

Which leads to one other problem :

Chocolate + Summer = Muffin top in the bikini.

Hello string bikini.  NOT.

*gasp*

Bye bye muffin top.

Ahhhh the beach life... but it involves a bikini :) Read a cleansing water detox recipe on the blog lynneknowlton.com

 

Want to slim down your muffin top?  I have two words for you ~

Cleansing water

 

Cleansing water has 2 benefits:  It gets rid of extra water weight, but more importantly it makes water taste DELISH all over again.  I don’t believe in fad diets.  Or crash diets.  Or abrupt anything for that matter.  I do believe that it is a good thaaang to drink more water.  I know I don’t get enough of it.  Do you?

I have to trick myself into drinking water.  That’s right.  Trick myself.  Who does that? ME.   I try to outsmart myself with dolling up my water.  How dumb is that?  Not so dumb apparently.  It works.

The water that I drink has dandelion root tea in it.

Sound gross?   You bet.

Taste good?  You bet.

It’s about dandelion root tea and why you should LOVE thee.  Oh hells yeah.

Beware :  Cleansing may make you a bit cranky.    Anything with the words dandelion and root has the potential to make anyone cranky.  Just thinking about eating or drinking a dandelion gave me the heebbie jeebbies at first.

Don’t worry.

You’ll be okay.

Life is just better in a hammock.  Want to detox, revive... and get rid of muffin top ? Come say 'hey' to me on the blog ! lynneknowlton.com

Do you drink enough water ?

I normally hate the stuff.   Water is boring.  On epic levels of boringness.  Blah. Blah. Blah.

Can you truly drink the amount of water that you should be drinking in a day?  Who made up those stupid water rules anyway ?  Someone who likes to punish other people.

Bruisers.  Brutes.  Water meanies.

I think we should all gather together and throw water balloons at them.

 

Water was on my do not do list until I tried this recipe :

The Jillian Michaels water cleansing #recipe for losing water weight. Read about it on the blog lynneknowlton.com

 

Here’s the down low …..

Adapted from the Jillian Michaels recipe :

 

Mix in one jug and drink throughout the day :

*   60 ounces of water

*   Juice of 1/2 lemon

*   1 tbsp of pure cranberry juice ( not cranberry cocktail ~ that is just a sugar high waiting to happen.  Bad.  Naughty.  Don’t do it.  Do the pure stuff.  Drink the Mother Theresa of cranberry juice.  The purest of the purest.

*   Tea bell full of fresh mint ( my adaptation to the recipe )

*   One dandelion root tea bag

 

Make a jug of the concoction.  Let the tea bag sit in your water jug all day and drink the water throughout the day.  It tastes delish.  I promise.  Seriously enjoyable.

Jillian Michaels recommends drinking it for 7 days to lose 5 lbs of water weight.  I didn’t do that.  I just drink it for enjoyment.  Water enjoyment.

I weird it up a bit with the mint.  Weird is the new rad.  If you add fresh mint to the water ~ it’s divine.  I used a tea bell since I don’t like furry mint leaves stuck on my teeth.  It’s like taking spinach on the teeth to a whole new level.  Don’t you hate it when spinach sticks on your front teeth?  Me too.  Gross.  We are bosom buddies.

I drink a jug of this funked up water quite often.  Why ?  Because suddenly I don’t hate water anymore.  It is a water miracle.  Who knew that a little lemon and cranberry could take water to a new game of delectably delicious?

 

Look up ! Life gets better... especially in a #treehouse. Read more about the recycled, reclaimed barn board treehouse on the blog lynneknowlton.com

 

Try it.  You will feel like a well oiled machine of awesomeness.

Enjoy your new fangled love of water.  Dare you.  Double dare you.

Be a dragon slayer of muffin top.

Now go forth and try on that string bikini.

Holy shit, panic attack.

String bikini ?! Eeeek.

 

Just go forth and enjoy your feelings of awesomeness.

 

Over to you…..  What do you do to cleanse?  Share with sugar bear.  Come tell me about it on FacebookPinterest or Instagram. I want to hear about it.  My bikini is still staring at me and giving me the stink eye.

You’re awesome.

Talk soon,

Lynne

This entry was posted in Design Your Life, Design your Lifestyle, Quotes, Jokes & Funnies, Recipes, You are Beautiful and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.


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71 Responses

  1. Hey there! This is kind of off topic but I need some
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  3. nancy says:

    oh, I thought this was so weird until you said Jillian says to do it. I love Jillian.
    On another topic, I really hate going to the gym, I am not a germaphobe seriously I am not. But MRSA?? at the GYM??? it’s there. I am too icked out by that. The problem for me is I am an ER nurse. I am not trying to ruin anyone’s gym business but I am not going. I stay home with my Jillian DVDs.
    BTW, this font makes everything I write look so interesting.

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  5. mrsugarbears says:

    I loved this post! You know I love a detox cleanse, but water is my girl. We have had an on and off again love/hate relationship and now we are back to the love part again. I can’t wait to try your adapted recipe. Much love to you!

    • You LOVE water already? Seriously, you and I need to hang out so you can rub off on me. For me…The only way water is d’bomb dot com is when it has lemon/cranberry in it or maybe even RUM :) LOL. xx

  6. Vicki says:

    I used to do a detox diet now and then, but that was before I had all kinds of tummy troubles. Now I have to be careful about what I eat and drink. Does the dandelion cause lower GI issues? You know, down there, back there, the big ugly D-word kind of problems?? :-)

    • Hiya Vicki
      That’s a good question. One that I don’t know the answer to. I have never noticed that problem, but maybe it is because I am feeling so freakin’ awesome from drinking all the water (?) Who knows. A life mystery :)
      Have you tried it yet? Dare I ask how it went? LOL. xx

  7. Linda says:

    P.S. I’m gonna try this

  8. Linda says:

    Hi Lynne
    It’s me linda bick from Instagram ( tire swing) !!!! I’m up at my girlfriends and I asked her if her dad would ever make another tire swing, she said maybe? He made one for another friend once a few years ago… She is going to ask him?!? I’ll let you know….

    • Ohhh Linda that would be über cool if your friends Dad made another swing! ohhhh how I love it. I keep staring at the picture! It is gorgeous! PS. Did you like the taste of the water/cranberry/lemon? It is so DELISH, isn’t it?! Lynne xx

  9. Linda Bryant says:

    Do you eat food when you do this cleanse? As well, for how long would you detox with this? Btw it tastes great!

    • Hi Linda !
      I personally eat food on this cleanse (I like food tooooo much to avoid it. LOL). I do eat light though, and try to keep it healthy overall. We juice with our juicer every day too (that helps!!) I try not to really restrict myself… so I can keep enjoying it for longer… and not burn out. Everything in moderation is my motto. :) Enjoy !! Lynne xx

  10. Courtney says:

    OMG, Im sooooo with you on the water, the gym, the bikini stink eye. Just made my shopping list, I better get after it!!! tks. :)

  11. Tracie says:

    I went out and bought everything I needed today, with the exception of mint. Not sure if I will add it but I just forgot to buy it, so will see how I like it without. Just the phrase “water cleanse” makes me feel rejuvenated!! Looking very forward to this……bought some organic cranberry juice, as I didn’t realize that even the 100% cranberry juice contains a combination of juices, what? Crikey, the next thing you know, I’ll find out vodka isn’t really as healthy and full of vitamins as I’ve been led to believe……….

    • Hi Tracie !

      I often make mine without the mint too and I still LOVE it. Tonight, I’m combining the whole concoction with Vodka. It is time to test the awesome waters:) xx

  12. shannon says:

    Lynne: i want you to know i’m drinking this water RIGHT NOW as i write this.
    It is delicious, and your weird mint addition is inspired.. thanks. :)

  13. Linda says:

    Have yet to hit the Doctor’s mark of my (your) weight in ounces of water every stink’in day!
    I don’t think I’ve done it once… pretty sure I haven’t tried.
    Maybe this water/drink will help. Can I add vodka after 5pm?

    Cheers!

    • Woot woot Linda! I’m thinking the vodka addition after 5pm is a brills idea. I’m going for it tonight! LOL. Thanks for the inspiration. Why didn’t I think of that?! haha! Lynne xx

  14. Had I not already killed them all, I could have had a dandelion farm in my yard. Really? Okay I’ll go look for the tea bag. If you can drink it… I’ll try.

  15. Kevin R says:

    Well, this is insipiring! Thanks, Lynne! Water, lemon, cranberry, mint, dandelion root tea.. Sounds great!. But I am totally confused about Cranberry. What juice should I use? What is the “Mother Theresa of cranberry juice” ??? Help !

    • Hey Kevin !
      How’s it going ?

      Cranberry COCKTAIL is the bad stuff. Don’t do it. Buy the pure cranberry juice without the added sugar. It is definitely more expensive – but you don’t need much so that’s a good thaaaang :)

      Cheers !!
      Lynne xx

  16. Kim Beaulieu says:

    Okay cleanses scare me but if you can do it so can I. When I get cranky I’m calling you. Buh bye muffin top.

  17. Shannon says:

    I do cleanses at least once or twice a year, usually for a minimum of 10 to 40 days, usually depends on the time I have. Last year I did 30 days.. I usually do all organic fruit/veggie smoothies only ( no milk, no yogurt, process juices, or etc.). Or alternatively I’ll do all fresh squeezed veggie & fruit juices with my juicer, no additives. Lastly, depending upon where I’m at in the world – I may not have electricity or my juicer at hand – I’ll do all lemon juice and a bit of cayenne cleance. Your post has motivated me to do quick little cleanse, I think I’ll start with some raw foods for a few days, then your water cleanse. THANKS FOR THE INSPIRATION! I’m A GUY and I ALSO DON”T WANT MUFFIN TOPS THIS SUMMER! Here’s to no MUFFIN TOPS!

    • Hey Shannon !
      Your cleanses sound ahhhmazing. I still eat healthy during my water cleanse, so I don’t fall over and pass out from hunger. LOL. I like food too much.

      The cayenne pepper/lemon cleanse …. I did that one too ! Do you like it? I found it gave me MASSIVE headaches to do it. I almost punched people when I saw them eating. All food LOOKED delish to me ! haha!

      Juicer : Ohhhhh how I love thee. What’s your fave recipe? I do a ginger, carrot, apple, greens mixture with a bit of beet. To die for…. YUM.

      Here’s to NO muffin tops !! LOL.
      Cheers!
      Lynne xx

      • Shannon says:

        I usually abstain from all solid foods on my cleanses. My favorite recipes once upon a time:

        Pineapple & Carrot

        Beet & Carrot

        I usually always add greens as well ( Kale/collards).

        Goodbye love handles and muffin tops.

  18. Trysha says:

    my muffin top is all that,
    whole grain and low fat
    I know you want a piece of that
    but I’m just here to dance.

    No sugar, no grains. Lots of water, fresh veggies. Win. We can do this!!

    • Trysha,
      You are hilarious. You are a poet, and I didn’t even know it.

      Life is a dance floor. Let’s dance !
      Lynne xx

      • Trysha says:

        it’s from 30 Rock. Tina Fey is way smarter and funnier than I. (Liz Lemon is my spirit animal)

        I specialize in kitchen dance parties. i don’t want to brag, but I do a mean lawnmower.

  19. Janet says:

    Welcome home :)
    Honestly? That water sounds delish!! I’m going to try it because my kidneys like to make little painful stones when I don’t drink enough water and I find plain water boring most of the time.
    PS – I love your Glazed-up hammock pic!

    • Janet – kidney stones ?! I hear that they are so painful that people make up new swear words to describe the pain.

      Truth? Yikes !

      Ha! I thought you’d recognize the pimped up glaze effect. I’m seriously still so very in love with that app. And percolator. And camera +. The list goes on and on :)

      • 100% truth! That pain is like nothing else. I refer to it as “blinding pain” because once the morphine kicked in, I felt like I could see again. it’s crazy

      • I am laughing to myself while I type this….because I was going to make your “speshul water” today and use the fresh mint that’s growing in my garden. except I remembered that my dog sometimes thinks its fun to pee on the mint, reminding me why I haven’t used any of it in the past 2 years. Do you think dried dog pee while impact the detox effect?!?
        now I have to make some carrot and finger – i mean GINGER – juice instead because i’ve grossed myself out.
        still giggling all by myself tho….

        • Oh my. Oh my. You are hilare Janet. I feel your garden pain sista. Mackenzie just brought some chives in from the garden this week. After I washed them, she said ” good thing you washed those Mom, Oliver loves to pee in that garden” Ewwwwwh. My ick barometer went up about a billion degrees.

          Are you still juicing with finger? Uhm. Ginger. Laugh out loud ! That was one funny funny funny moment! xx

  20. Lisa thomson says:

    Funky water sounds awesome! I don’t cleanse and my muffin top is speaking to me now! Damn.

  21. Great idea Lynne! Do you steep the tea in hot water first, or just throw the bag in cold water? And how long are you on this? One thing I started lately is a cellulite remover: 1 drop each of lemon and grapefruit essential oils in a litre of water. Tastes really nice. What the hell, why not make some super water that removes everything?

    • Hi Dani ! How are ya girly ?!

      Funny you mentioned the lemon essential oil – I tried that too- but found that left a funky taste in my mouth. I know. I’m weird. I love the fresh lemon version :)

      I don’t steep my tea bag in hot water. I just plunk it in my cold water with the other lemon/cranberry yumminess and just let it sit in the water jug all day long. I actually try to hold off drinking it all too fast ! Crazy huh? It is lunchtime and I think – where’d my water go!!? I drank it all!!

      Let’s make a treehouse date soon !! I’m planning a bloggers retreat with a pal – July 25-27 for blog sharing epic ideas. It’s by EXCLUSIVE invite only. LOL. Truth. Do you and sis want to come ?

  22. Laura says:

    Where do you buy dandelion tea bags?

    • Hi Laura –
      I have seen the dandelion root tea bags in the organic section of grocery stores and in health food stores. I brought a brand called traditional medicinal – but there are tons of brands out there. The one I have is a roasted dandelion root tea bag and I love the taste when it is combined with the lemon and cranberry. Not sure I would venture out and drink the tea on its own. That may be gross :) cheers ! Lynne

  23. Hey! Leave muffin tops alone!
    Mine love me… Really love me, they cling onto me like a new born baby…. But, like a 29 year old kid living in the basement I have to kick them out!!
    Bring on dandy-lions, randy-tigers! And a glass of water… Aaah.

    <3 D

  24. Suzanne says:

    Ha, muffin tops ugh…. not good right. Well,, cleanses ummm… I try from time to time but I know my limitations and you can’t have coffee when you cleanse so I don’t do them. Seriously though your water sounds good, I should drink more water, I try, really I do but like you said it’s kind of boring. I’ll try the dandelion root tea but will still have coffee, I can’t afford to be cranky or deal with headaches. The way I figure it, if I don’t have coffee I will be toxic so I am eliminating toxins by having my cup of joe.

    • Dee Dee says:

      I like your way of thinking. And now have a viable excuse, no, reason, to drink so much Starbucks.

    • Hey Suzanne – not gonna lie – I totally drink coffee while cleansing with this water too. I think it would be too much of a body slam shock to avoid all vices. The water still makes me feel good – the way I see it – extra water never hurt anyone with or without all the other naughty stuff. Why is all the tasty stuff so bad for us ?! LOL.

      • Suzanne says:

        It’s good to know I am not the only one that does that, going to go to health food store today and get some dandelion root tea,, unsweetened cranberry and i have mint in my garden, Will try that water.

  25. Dee Dee says:

    I’m so glad I awoke from my own detox this past week so I could see this post!

    I love dandelion tea, but have to admit it was a taste I had to get used to. No, like I had to barter with myself at first, but only because I think it was the smell of the brand I use. Now I don’t buy the stinky brand.

    If you ever figure out a way to redirect weight to your neighbors, can you let me know? I have some of my own to give away and I’m sure my neighbors are waiting for it as we speak. Or type.

    • Hey Dee Dee – I’m with you …. Not so sure I could drink dandelion root tea on its own. Eeeek. I have only tried it soaking in my jug of cold water and mixed with the cranberry and lemon. I’m in LOVE with the taste and I’m fussy :).
      I bought a brand called traditional medicinal organic roasted dandelion root tea. It’s d’bomb dot com.
      Lynne xx
      Ps. Did you read the post I wrote about green moss graffiti and neighbours? LOL. That could help :)

      • Dee Dee says:

        oh, gosh! That was one of my fave posts and one I shared far and wide! I’ve got a weird exposure on my terrace so can’t grow moss well, but I’ve told all of my friends over the past year that I expect to see some growing where they live, with a preference for the name Dee Dee, or else. And yes, my preference is the same even if their name is Doug or Sue. :)

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