The cure for anything is SALT WATER and VODKA

And an island.  Living on an island would surely cure everything too.

Well, and the vodka would help to enhance the experience.

OR VODKA

Summer is coming to a grand slam CLOSE and my heart is going to give up the ghost.

How can summer even think about leaving us ?  What a freakin’ meanie.

If

END OF SUMMER

had a face,

I would punch it.

Patio Lanterns- I will miss them.

  How do I know when summer is ending?

1.  I gave up hope on my potted flowers about 2 months ago.  They were dead about 10 minutes after I bought them.  I have a BLACK thumb.   They were NOT my end of summer clue.

2.  I silently pray that school will begin again.  Don’t judge, or I will have to punch you in the face too.

3.  I reaffirm my goal in life every.single.time when I know that the snow is coming :

…..Here it is…wait for it…wait for it…..

It is the ” I DREAM OF LIVING ON AN ISLAND ” time of year again.

MY GOAL IN LIFE :

 To live in a beach-side hut and sip insanely delicious tipsy tea vodka cocktails ~All~day~long~

 What?! You don’t drink VODKA? WTF?!  Yeah, me neither*

* I lie.

If you want to travel to the dark side, you could just lick the sides of the glass and/or stare at me enjoying it.  I’m not new.

Or you could just dream of sweet, intoxicating vodka bevies.

Are you concerned about the tea? Or the Vodka?  No worries, the smell of the vodka is disguised by the tea.  Your morning guests will have no clue what you are dipping into.

Want to pretend you are living on an island?!

It all starts here :

Island Life

I am wholeheartedly convinced that if I lived on that island, that all my problems would be abolished.  In my head, anyway.   I will be sloshed from the TIPSY TEA that I so eloquently poured into a coconut shell.

What ?! what what?! What problem?! No shirt, no shoes, no problem.

Truth is, nothing could possibly be as bad as the sand in my bathing suit bottom.  I hate that.  I will remind myself that if I didn’t dip in the sea to take a pee, then I wouldn’t have sand in my pants.  Did I just say that in my outside voice?  My bad.  Bite me.

The fish do it.

So can I.

Uhhm, seriously though…wouldn’t this make a great DIY project ?!!

Island life = I will get lost in books.

Nasty smutty books.

Fifty Shades of  BLUSH Grey.

Here is the reason why Fifty Shades has shackled readers :

Fifty Shades of sexuality.  Hellloooo.  That would shackle me to a hammock, foooshur.

 

 

 

This will be my bookmark.

‘Cause I will roll like that.

On my island.

I won’t speak in complete sentences.

That will be easy.

I don’t do that now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You see, I just told you that island story to distract you from the end of summer blues.

Because end of summer blues suck.

Monster truck, SUCK.

How else will I know that summer is ending?

4.  The birds will stop crapping on my car windshield.  How is it, that a bird knows how to aim so well?  I think they plan their crap attacks on cars.  Just sayin’.

~ Bombs away ~

 That will NOT be problem on my island.

Why?

This will be my new mode of transportation :

Ok, it’s a bit dirty. I’m cool with that. I’ll be tipsy anyway.

I’ll spend my days sipping vodka, park the BOAT and sleep in a hammock.

With my filthy reading.

Because that is fun.  And no one will catch me reading such smut.  I’m on an island.

That’s right.  Got it all figured out.

I DREAM.

The good news is that I guess there is no need to finish unpacking my SUMMER CLOTHES from the stupid  bin that I left them in all summer.  Smart as a whip.

I am. I am.

SCRATCH THAT ONE OFF the list.

I only make lists so I can scratch things off of them anyway.

Anyone have a beach hut that I can live in?

I promise to decorate it.

I will sit here and sip sip sip AFTER I decorate your house, of course. :)

You will hardly notice that I am there.  Minus the VODKA missing from your liquor cabinet.

Looking for me?

 I’ll be on the beach with a grass skirt and picnic basket full of trouble.

Who’s coming?

We can sit right there and drink our VODKA

You will laugh so hard, the TIPSY TEA will come right outta ‘yer nose.

Pack the trashy books and the shark repellant.

Throw in some lemon and limes.

See you at the beach house that YOU are inviting me to.

Isak Dineson said it best :

THE CURE FOR ANYTHING IS

SALT WATER

SWEAT

TEARS

OR THE SEA.

And {uhhhum} Lynne Knowlton said it even better.

Add some VODKA to the mix, and I will join you. 

 LOVE,

The pee’ing Mermaid {shhhh…}

Lynne

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28 Responses

  1. Ou I so share the same dream with you! Love the summer and warmth. Don`t know when or with what money but we have decided that ONE day we will move to live a while abroad. New Zealand, South Africa and Italy are TOP3 at the moment. And I take our hammock with me – the best thing we bought this summer :)

  2. Tracey says:

    Hi Lynney!
    Melissa And I are looking at alllll your photos. Will come visit anytime…where is this magical island? The recent family photo is beautiful, you all look amazing! We miss you and the family soo much! ( excuse me miss do you know you have some black on your face??
    -Eaton Centre you & I Teenagers)
    You are bigger than Oprah hehe!

    Love Always xox

  3. Rose says:

    I’m all for reading smut and drinking vodka, but I’m afraid if we were in that boat together…. and u disagreed with me, u might just want to punch me!!!!!….and that means u would have a very long swim…lol
    love ur all posts….oh how u make me chuckle Betty…

    • Lynne Knowlton says:

      Hey Ronny {aka Rose the Hose} –
      Love it ” I WOULD HAVE THE LONG SWIM “…Did you see the movie P.s I love you ? The boat scene with all the women in their lifejackets (getting rescued by the HAWT guy) completely reminds me of ME AND YOU. We would totally do that ! You would hog the HAWT guy fooooshur. LOL.
      Too funny !!
      Big love to you my friend,
      Betty {aka Lynne} xx
      P.s. I miss you. Get over here and have a swim (minus the boat) haha!

  4. Pamela says:

    So amusing! Living near the water whether the salty sea or the lake makes me sleepy and just release all of my stress. That’s what I did in Muskoka…eat, swim and eat some of Marty’s World famous butter tarts as you recommended. Then maybe why not add in some iced tea with vodka like a Long Island Ice tea… See Lynne, that is the name of your drink in your island! A Long Island Ice tea! That’s life.

    • Lynne Knowlton says:

      Hi Pamela !
      Just saying the words LONG ISLAND ICED TEA reminds me of mixing a zillion kinds of alcohol in one glass and throwing in a splash of sweet tea. {Not that I have ever done that}. Danger zone. LOL.
      So happy that you enjoyed Marty’s. Now I see you are in Gravenhurst. I can’t pass the muskoka store without spending a million dollars.
      Geeze, now I sound like a stalker. Instagram addiction more like it. Your photos are awesome!

  5. Nancy says:

    I live on an island. I have created the life of my dreams. Life still has challenges even when we live our dream, i.e., my car has not been repaired for almost a week because the part is not on my island. Because I don’t like the long ferry ride, a friend went to the bigger island today to get the part. Yeah! The birds still find my car to leave their droppings. My flowers wilt or die when I forget to water them. daily. I don’t have all the grocery items available like in the states. Sometimes my best friend sends me a “care package” with things like french fried onion rings so I can make green bean casserole. She aslo sends me maple candies. Love those! Life is much slower here than in the states. I love living here even though I sometimes miss a big box store or a fast food hamburger. No fast food here either I still need parts of my house to be decorated, so come on down. I don’t drink, however, maybe I will start if my car is not fixed soon. You are welcome to visit any time.

    • Lynne Knowlton says:

      Hi Nancy!
      I can bring you a care package = car parts. LOL. You are living the life. Sounds like living on an island is like living in the country. You ask someone a question, and they answer you 10 minutes later. I’m accustomed to that. I am sure the vodka would help. You may want to indulge in one sip :)
      Lynne xx

  6. Sarai G says:

    It’s on my bucket list to live near the beach/on an island too! I always dream about being back in Hawaii with my house right on the beach. Delicious beverages are, of course, included in this!!! That Tipsy Tea sounds super good–I can’t wait to try it! Here’s to island living & dreams becoming realities! ;)

    • Lynne Knowlton says:

      Sarai
      If you go back to Hawaii, you better leave some room in your suitcase for me, and a whole lotta vodka.
      Island living on the bucket list is pretty awesome, isn’t it?
      Lynne xx

  7. Gail Wyer says:

    ok, so now you’re talking!!!! Good one Lynne…enjoyed every line of it…and love your new name!

  8. Danica says:

    home-made strawberry lemonade with vodka is good too :) just saying in case you don’t like tea.

    • Lynne Knowlton says:

      Danica !
      Did you say HOME-MADE strawberry lemonade with vodka?! I NEED that recipe. Meet me on the island?
      :)

      • Danica says:

        oh its so easy-peasy….1/2 cup brisk lemonade (in the fridge carton mix because im too lazy to make it from scratch), 1/2 cup water, frozen strawberries all in the blender……..add vodka :) im considering swapping the strawberries for frozen blueberries one day.

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