I can’t make this shit up.This photo of Michael pretty much captures what living with a man is all about, don’t you think? Say yes, or get slapped with a pork chop. We need to stop expecting normal from men. We all know that it’s never going to happen. Normal wouldn’t be fun anyway. They are weird in an oh so awesome way. That’s okay. Normal is the new boring.
40 Strange But True Facts About Men1. If you shake your groove thing in front of a man, you’re pretty much guaranteed to have anything you want. 2. Men enjoy long romantic walks to the beer fridge. 3. Men waste thousands of gallons of fuel every year, driving around while not asking for directions. 4. Men can slip into a coma while sitting in a retail store chair waiting for you to come out of the fitting room. 5. 50% of men claim they would feel comfortable if their girlfriend had a lesbian lover. Ohh. Emmm. Geeeh. 6. Putting toilet paper on the roll is not common sense, it’s a super power. Apparently only women have this magical power. 7. For the love of Pete, what is the big deal about golf ?! It’s a big patch of grass with a little dimpled ball… MmmKay. Rocket science for boys. 8. Men roll their eyes at words like ” commitment, and change the toilet paper roll ” 9. If you find dirty socks and underwear near-to or semi-near the hamper, there is a man nearby. Note : He will claim innocence. 10. A woman speaks about 7,000 words a day; a man speaks about 2,000. 11. If it’s attention that you want, don’t get in a relationship with a man during playoff season. 12. Men do things that make us go aaaackkkkkk and make us go ahhhhhhhhh all at once. How weird. 13. The front lawn is the Holy Land. It’s not to be messed with. 14. Men like gadgets with lots of fancy shiny black buttons. It makes them feel dang important. 15. Dear men, your Mother is not a saint. A saint would have taught you to put the lid down. 16. When men talk with food in their mouth, it makes you want to reach right across the table and slap them with a hot dog while mumbling the word wanker under your breath. 17. If men make the bed and do the laundry, we will gasp. 18. Enough already with the combover. It has never once fooled anyone into thinking you have hair. Never. Not once. Ever. In the history of ever. 19. Breathing like a normal person seems like no biggie to women. For the love of all things holy..
Dear, grizzly Adams… what the hell is up with your snoring?You can shake down a small village with that roar. 20. It’s easier for a man to buy a bathing suit : Women have two types : depressing and more depressing. Men have two types : sexy-cool and a horrific-speedo. 21. Booby kryptonite : Dear men, they are just boobs. Breathe. Do you want to know who else has boobs? Your Mom. 22. It’s funny how men are brave enough to go to war, but shudder at the thought of a bikini wax. 23. Men would rather take a bullet than pick up tampons at the grocery store. 24. After a bottle of champagne, they start licking faces. It makes you want to punch them and kiss them all at once. 25. Men like to barbecue. They suddenly like to cook if danger and fire are involved. Weird how that happens. 26. Let’s face it, they go a little bit bonkers if you don’t change the oil in your car. Whatevs. Oil schmoil. 27. Bad boys are like cupcakes. They are delicious for two nibbles and then you start to hate yourself. 28. Getting a man organized is like herding a cat or pushing a rope uphill. 29. You can praise them, but go easy on the pedal or Mr. Stud muffin will puff up like a peacock. 30. Honest to Pete… do you have an unfinished project in your household that can only be completed by a man !?! Light it on fire. Done. Project complete. 31. Men drink well with others and don’t need any coaxing or provocation. 32. Most men have a disease. It’s called open-cupboard-itis. It can also be commonly referred to as open-drawer-itis. Even when dealt with swiftly, this contagious disease re-occurs over and over again. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. 33. Poor man-baby, you’re sick. Pam, can you call my Mom ?