The customs forms are pretty darn entertaining too :Q: Are you carrying an excess of $10,000 ? A: Yeah. Right. If I had $10,000 do you think I would have sat beside the airplane toilet? Q: Are you carrying any weapons? A: Yup. My knitting needles. But you confiscated them when you strip searched me with the ‘I can see you naked’ machine that you have now. Holy crap, that thing is intimidating. I bet the security screening personnel see things that they wish they had never seen. It should come with a warning label:
Beware: Some things cannot be unseen.Q: Have you or are you visiting a farm? A: Like I would tell you. Do I have s.t.u.p.i.d written on my forehead? Michael and I had a few days in Mexico this year. Why? Because we had free tickets. It is a long blahhhh story. So I won’t bore you with deets. I just didn’t want you to think I was a vacation whore. Vacation here. Vacation there. You better start feeling sorry for me soon. I made a choice in advance that I didn’t want to expel any ENERGY. Zip. Nada. I wouldn’t even carry a camera. It’s the size of a kitten. Much too heavy for my laziness. Only my phone would pass the light as a feather, free as a bird test. Technically, I could only lift my arm for cold cocktails. I managed to take all the photos with my iPhone and share with instagram. I pushed two buttons. Then I was exhausted. It’s hard work doing nothing. It’s exhausting to be lazy. I didn’t move a muscle. Except to lift my arm for burritos, nachos and tequila. Rinse and repeat on a daily basis. Does this mean you will follow me on instagram so I don’t feel like a lazy loser without friends? I love my
We just need vacations.Period. Because they are fun. Stamped it. Vacations are how I get my rocks off. If I had rocks. They are a time when you sit back and chant words to yourself. Words like… marg-a-rita…. marg-a-rita….. marg-a-rita Bring it. Do you know what is great about sand in the pants? Neither do I. I prefer to keep the sand outta my own pants. It’s best admired from a distance. To top your vacation off, I thought I’d put some icing on your vacation cupcake with an hilarious video. Want to snort your drink outta your nose laughing? Check out this YouTube video of a man dancing in his speedo. You will laugh out loud. The energy of this guy is amazeballs. He certainly doesn’t suffer from shyness…..