I wish I may, I wish I might … drink homemade Baileys tonight.
It’s magic juice, it just falls in your mouth.
WARNING: Don’t drink too much of this stuff. You’ll start licking faces.
Here’s the thing. I have a ‘soon to be Christmas‘ confession. A couple of years ago, when I was 21 *snicker*, I wrote a faboosh recipe on the blog on how to make homemade baileys.
I can’t take all the credit. I stole the recipe from my bestie.
It’s truly the best baileys on the face of the earth. Stamped it.
The best homemade baileys in the history of ever.
Double stamped it.
Back when I was a blogging youngin’, I was a pro-fesh-shun-al at taking crappy, yellowish, unappetizing photos. It was my specialty. Despite my inadequacies, you luuuurved the homemade Baileys recipe.
You’re weird like that.
See, this is why I adore you.
Wait a sec. I did it again. Wtf is up with this next photo? I wrote on it, so you wouldn’t notice the blur.
I did it on purpose.
No I didn’t.
Doesn’t matter. Drink.
This time, I’m taking another kick at the can. For some strange reason, this baileys blog post became one of the most popular posts on zeee bloggity.
You peeps apparently like to drink.
Two years ago, I had mentioned Baileys all casual like on the blog, as if it wasn’t a big deal.
And it wasn’t.
Until it was.
Technically, I should call this homemade Baileys recipe … ‘giggle face’. It brings out the happy go lucky in people.
Baileys. My favourite B word, this time of year.
Friday. My second favourite F word this time of year.
Why not just buy Baileys from the liquor store?
Don’t go there.
The problem with the Baileys from the liquor store is that it can give you a sugar high and then a low. You’ll have to scrape yourself off the concrete. The mix of sugar, chemicals and preservatives are just ewehhhh.
It’s much more peaceful to stay at home, sip baileys and Christmas shop from your ‘puter.
Shopping in a hectic mall during Christmas season … well … that just blows.
A mall makes me go ackkkkkk.
Baileys makes me go ahhhhhh.
Food courts and shopping malls just bring out the worst in me. I’m as tough as a two dollar steak. I make a navy seal look like a little girl.
Just the thought of shopping in a mall makes me go limp. My arms become like jelly and I’m instantly exhausted.
My inner sucky kid cries, I wanna go home.
A challenge for YOU and ME
This year my goal is to continue to just chill it.
I am going to make things (that don’t take every second of my life), order my presents online and just … E.N.J.O.Y.
I’m making that promise to myself.
Let’s do this CHILL IT thing together.
Winter season is coming. Soon, Canadians will be swallowed by snow and dating their snow blowers all season. Canadian winters are fun like that.
A barrel of laughs. So funny, I forgot to laugh.
This is why we drink, peeps. This is why we drink.
Winter in Canada is a shitastrophy shit storm.
When we drink coffee, it gives us unrealistic expectations of productivity.
When we drink Baileys, it gives us realistic expectations of giddiness.
Laughing never gets old.
Baileys ramps up the laugh your ass off factor.
It’s holiday season.
We eat raw cookie dough. Shut your face, cookie dough. Yeah, I’m looking at you.
We put on our gilded gold pinterest crowns and wear them around the house. The perfect Christmas is on Pinterest, right?
The perfect Christmas is quite simply, simple. Follow me on Pinterest. I toats keep it real.
These photos are real. I drank baileys and snapped away. That’s keeping it real. I drank. I photographed. I goofed off in Pinterest. I highly recommend it.
I posted what I want to buy for Christmas pressies this year. You can see it here on Pinterest.
It’s a good thing there isn’t a breathalyzer on Pinterest. I’d never get my shopping done.
MALL SHOPPING and Ho ho ho…
I’ve decided that mall shopping is gross. Online shopping is oh la la. I came to this wild conclusion while flopped on a mall chair, sweating in my winter coat, wanting to trip mall shoppers.
My problem is that I don’t have a mall chill it button. I have a I’m going to punch you in the face, right here in this mall button.
Oh sure, shopping in a mall at Christmas time is fun. For about 5 minutes.
A mall sucks the life outta me, and screams ….
“Hey Lynne, your Mother dresses you funny. You should buy something, you inadequate thing. You definitely need new shoes. By the way, your shirt is hideous. You should buy a new one. Oh, btw’s, you need an expensive one. One you can’t afford.”
Hot mess. Drink.
Everything in a mall seems to look gorgy gorgeous. In the meantime, I look like a wet cat that just got dragged in from the slushy snow storm. Because I did.
Hair drenched. Coat wrapped around my waist. I’m fashionable like that.
Aren’t you happy that I’m not a fashion blogger? Lucky you.
Jingle bells, jingle bells … shut your face.
My inside voice says:
No, no , don’t do the mall, it’s lame.
What did I do?
I broke up with mall shopping.
Read: I shop from home, sip baileys and watch Downton Abbey for 12 straight hours in a row while eating chocolate and wrapping presents. That’s my kinda Christmas.
That’s my happy place. Sip.
I didn’t want to be that mall girl with my inner voice screaming
‘ I’m going to swing my shopping bag, catapult it across the floor and directly hit someone right square between the eyeballs’
Told you. I needed to chill it. This GoGo gadget needed to take a chill pill. It ain’t worf it. Mall shopping. It just ain’t worf it.
Every week, starting this week, I am going to shop for hohoho season, in bite sized pieces. Little nibbles of Christmas. Little nibbles of Christmas cake. Little nibbles of chocolate.
I’m getting my sanity back. One bite at a time.
The coffee, homemade baileys and chocolate will definitely help.
You with me?
Oki doki then.
Let’s get this baileys party started. Brace yourself. This is good stuff.
Warning: It is strong. So strong, it may put hair on your chest. It isn’t syrupy sweet. It is Goldilocks proofed. Like Goldilocks nailed it, just right. You will love.
Ready for it ?! Start with some simple glass bottles so you can make some presents. I found some here on Amazon.
Don’t have time for that? Just grab whatever you have that has the least amount of dust on it.
Homemade Baileys Recipe
13 oz. vodka
1 can (300 ml) eagle brand condensed milk (the magic ingredient). I swear it says that on the can. I can’t make that shit up. It’s magic juice.
2 tbsp. chocolate syrup ( I use Nestle’s Nesquik )
1 pint ( 16 oz.) of table cream ( I even use the 5 % light version for fewer calories LOL)
Put it all in a blender. BLEND. Drink.
For gifts: Pour in glass bottles. Wrap it up. I dare you to not drink it before you give it away. Drink whatever is left in the blender. You’ll be fine.
NOTE: This recipe makes enough to fill a blender. It will last as long as your cream ‘best before’ date shows.
Trust me, you’ll drink it all before then. It’s so good.
I . Can’t. Even.
Because I made homemade baileys, I’m domestic, dammit. I have a special free Baileys recipe printable for you!
Handy dandy links in a jiffy :
Spill it. What’s your fave holiday recipe? Share with sugar bear !! Talk to me. Talk to me… I look silly just talking to myself. We can’t have that.