Life lately: Do you know what rhymes with Friday? Vodka

Design The Life You Want To Live http://www.lynneknowlton.com/lately/

 

What have you been up to, chicken poo?  I’ve missed you.  Wait.  I’m a poet and I didn’t know it.  Ugh.  Should I just throat punch MYSELF?

What have I been up to lately?!!   I’ve been getting it on with my treehouse, road trips and my husband.  TMI?  Let’s just go with it.

Truth is.. I’m a blogger, I work from bed.

*snicker*

 

The best #blogging studio evahhh :) http://www.lynneknowlton.com/lately/

My  blogging  studio.  LOL.

 

 

No really.  What have I been up to?!

Keeping shit realer than a documentary.  That’s where.  There’s always so much to do, isn’t there?  *panic attack*  Sometimes we just need to close our damn computers and go live life.

The blog was calling me, I just wasn’t talking.  I wanted to.  I was wracked with guilt for not writing, and yet I was busier than a curly straw with life shenanigans.

Truth is, I have so many ideas to share with you that I sometimes get paralyzed not knowing what to share.

How to create a great home office @lynneknowlton http://www.lynneknowlton.com/lately/

Eeeeeek

 

I totally feel guilty when I take a hiatus from the blog.  I would climb a moderately sized mountain for you.  You are my person.  You are the yin to my yang.  The ping to my pong.  The normal to my crazy.

 

Here’s the juicy part.  I’m so super duper supercalifragilisticexpialidocious stoked to be back… and I have a ton of awesome sauce lined up to share with you.  I just love ya like that.

 

Let’s get this paaaaartayyy started!!

 

I’m going to tell you what I’ve been up to and then you are going to tell me what you’ve been up to.  If your face just went pale and your eyebrows are stubbornly furrowed … don’t even think of backing out…

We got this.

You and I go way back.  We can do this together.

 

Reach.  Dig deep. @LynneKnowlton http://www.lynneknowlton.com/lately/

Reach.  Dig deep.

 

We are sharing together.  Got it?  I’ll pull your hair and toilet paper your house if you go silent in the comment section after all my true confessions.  Ready?  No?  PS.  I have a roll of toilet paper in my hand.  Let’s go…

 

What I’ve been up to lately …

{{  I’ll try to keep it as boringless as possible }}

 

 

1.   I started running.  Okay.  I went running once.  I died a thousand deaths.

 

Epic home design ideas http://www.lynneknowlton.com/lately/

Bed.  Yes.   Run…. nooooooo

 

2.  Blogging is not an active sport and my muffin top got the memo before I did.   I considered buying this so I could work out at my desk.  For reals.  I wouldn’t joke at a time like this.  Okay.  I would.  But still.

 

 

Blogging desk LOL http://www.lynneknowlton.com/lately/

Seriously.   I  like  this  more  🙂

 

 

3.  I’m a professional exercise avoider

I tried these hip hop ab videos.  It was spontaneous and possibly ill advised.

Here’s the thing.  Don’t judge.  I freaking love the workout DVDs!

Wait.  Did I really say that?  Something may be wrong with me.  I’m normally allergic to working out.

I swore that I’d never be that person that buys dee… vee… dees.  It’s so 2012.   Well, Lynne.  Liar liar pants on fire.  You did it.

 

 

4.  What I’m addicted to watching lately …

 I also bought these DVD’s.  Faboosh series.  I only eat 2 bowls of popcorn while watching.  Okay.  Three.

Two.

Maybe more.

Shut it.

 

5.   Fave crush on Netflix…

I pretty much defeat the purpose of that working out thaaaang and sit on my arse watching Frankie and Grace on Netflix.  It’s hilare on all levels of hilariousness.

They say things like…

I must have half of the beach in my vagina.

 

Sold.  New favourite show.

 

Beach love http://www.lynneknowlton.com/lately/

 

6.  Country Living can be a shit show…

We live on 100 acres in the Canadian countryside.  Put on the brakes.  Country living sounds waaaaay more romantic than it actually is.

 

Everything needs attention, including the squirrels and mice.  I need danger pay for mouse traps.  I hate those things.

What’s worse?  A mouse staring you down from your breakfast bowl.

Yeah.  Definitely worse.

Reality :

My table centerpiece is weeds.  My grass is decorated with fancy pants dandelions.

If I see a wheelbarrow, my arms will go limp.

 

Country Pool :) http://www.lynneknowlton.com/lately/

 

7.   Canadian Effffing Geese:

 

I discovered that I have effffing Canadian Geese in my efffing pond.  They are making effing goose babies.

 

I’m a gentle soul, but I have considered offing them.

 

Yup, it’s some sort of stupid National Canadian bird. Yup it’s legit illegal right now to make them disappear into the great white clouds of no-where-ville.

 

That same bird also shits like a crazy person with wings.  

 

Like everywhere.  

 

Country Living POND http://www.lynneknowlton.com/lately/

 

I’ve been out screaming like a wild lady at my pond….

 

Dude, are you having trouble with Google maps?!#@$%

 

 

Fly the other way mother effffer.  Fly.  Fly.  Fly.

 

Will you visit me in prison?

 

PS.  I heard that if you buy a plastic goose, cut his head off, and lay the whole shebang on the ground.. the other geese will see it and run/fly for the hills.  Hmmm.  Trying it.

* as I listen to the birds fly over head *

 

 

8.   Oh Em To The Geeeh.

 

I’m 50 years old. I’m f’n ancient…. AKA

I turned twenty five.   Twice.  

Maturity-wise; I’m holding strong at 22. Wisdom-wise; I’m like at least 176.

 

 

 

9.   Juicing is a smooth move…

I have been a.d.d.i.c.t.e.d. to juicing and smoothies for forever now.  They make me feel like I have superpowers.   In my head, I’m certain that I could jog to Florida and back.

I use this juicer and this blender.

I could totally, absolutely, definitely jog to the fridge and back now.

 

Life lately. Smoothies and Juicing! http://www.lynneknowlton.com/lately/

 

 

10.  Here kitty kitty kitty…

We adopted a cat from our outlaws.  He’s 300 pounds on a good day.  He may look like a stuffed pillow but he can run like the dickens when he is guilty of something.  His name is Fatty.  Three guesses why and the first two don’t count.

 

Cats are tiny women dressed in cheap fur coats http://www.lynneknowlton.com/lately/

Fatty

 

 

11.  *SNICKER*  Let’s talk about balls..

Even though I am 50,  I haven’t stopped talking about balls.   *snicker*   Balls make me giggle.  Mature, right?

I’ve been using these balls in my dryer instead of dryer sheets.  Holy snap dawg.  Amazeballs.  Cue the music.  Let’s pause for a moment and listen to the angels singing.

Yeah.  That good.

 

Ocean and beach love http://www.lynneknowlton.com/lately/

The  angels  are  singing

 

I once read that chemical dryer sheets can make your clothes glow in the dark with infrared lighting.  Not that someone would walk through my forest with night vision goggles, but still.  It freaked me out that I could possibly glow in the dark.   The geese would see me.  Revenge is freaky.

 

 

12.  Door Track Hardware is d’bomb dot com

I wrote an ebook on How to make door track hardware.  It’s my finest work evaaaaaah.  Wait.  I just bragged.  What an idiot.  Seriously.  If you want to make the prettiest door hardware in the history of ever, this is your book.  Instant download.

 

 

How to make door track hardware #DIY http://www.lynneknowlton.com/lately/

 

 

13.  It gets better.   There’s wheels too…

Did you know that I’ve been selling gorgy gorgeous wooden wheels for door track hardware, right here on ze blawg?   Creating a product to sell on the blog is not always a piece of cake.  Hmmm.  Cake?

The wooden wheels are handcrafted by our local Amish pals.  Can you believe that I have Amish pals?  I know, right?  So coolio.

I’ve been shipping the door track hardware wheels all over the world for the past 6 months.  I’ve been too shy to tell you about them.   I’m also a perfectionist.  They had to be puuuuurfect before I would brag about them.

So now.

They are perfect.  

Brag. What an idiot. Teehee. 

 

Wooden Wheels for door track hardware http://www.lynneknowlton.com/lately/

 

 

Do you want to brush my teeth with a brick for bragging?  I know. Me too.  The wheels and door track hardware book are really so freaking awesome.  I couldn’t help myself.

There’s more….

Use the coupon code COMBO when you buy the wheels and door track hardware ebook together and you’ll save $10 slammers.

You’re welcome.  xo

Prefer to buy them on Amazon?  You can do that here too.  Bada-bing-bada-boom.

Dang, I’ve got ‘yer back.

 

14.   Perfection is boring.  Let’s get weird. 

The chaos in my house is unreal but my pinterest boards are the sexiest thing on earth.   I’m also planning a kitchen reno because I’m not busy enough already.  I die.

You and I are going on this kitchen journey together.  It’s gonna be good.

 

Elmira Stove and country living http://www.lynneknowlton.com/lately/

 

Here’s my inspiration board for the kitchen, so far…

Beware.  Pinterest rabbit hole.   Dive!

 

Follow Design The Life You Want To Live’s board Kitchen on Pinterest.

PS.  If you are a blogger, you hafta hafta hafta try Tailwind.  It will make your Pinterest life dreamy.  It’s so great for scheduling pins.  You can pin while you’re sleeping.  

 

Now, if it could clean my house when I’m sleeping, I’d marry it.   

 

Kitchen ideas ... farmhouse style http://www.lynneknowlton.com/lately/

Ahhhhhhh

 

 

15.  Linen and I are having a love affair right now.

Legit.  Love. Affair.  I bought a king sized linen duvet cover.  Addicted.  

Have you ever slept under linen?  Channing Tatum?  Same thing. I die with smitten love.

I found these linens on Etsy too!  They are my favourite thing in the history of ever.     All items are made by the most adorable etsy sellers evahhh.   They make their linen goods in their small home studio in Lithuania.  

 

I went cray cray with linen love. 

 

I have the curtains, pillow shams, tea towels and white linen pillow cases in the treehouse.   Totally amazing on all levels of amazingness.  

 

Linen.  I can’t even.  Oh.La.La. 

 

Gorgeous linens from @Etsy http://www.lynneknowlton.com/lately/

The  Tea  Towels  are stunners.

 

16.  Watch for the bloopers…

  I started making videos.  Like this one.  Sign up to the blog or get hit with a pork chop.  

 

   

 

Do it.  Sign up.  You know you love me.  I love you.  We are a match made in heaven.  I only post when I have epic shit to share.  Clearly.  This post took me two months. LOL.

 

 

17. The treehouse is gussied up :

 

 

I painted everything that was standing still in the treehouse … WHITE.   I wanted to colour it in with a non colour.  White.  

If I could get my arms around it, I’d freaking hug it.  White paint is my bestie.  

Because the treehouse is eco friendly and made from up-cycled, recycled materials (aka an old barn and stolen goods from my friends)… I used white milk paint.

I’m eco green….not hairy arm pits, Birkenstocks ….green.

 

I'm granola, but not THAT granola.

 

 

 

A photo posted by Lynne Knowlton (@lynneknowlton) on

 

 

18.   Road trip. Woot Woot !!

Michael and I went on a California road trip.  Totally fun.  We rented the worlds brightest car.

I’m sure if you lived on the moon, you’d have spotted our rental car.

 

Lynne Knowlton Design The Life You Want To Live http://www.lynneknowlton.com/lately/

Sunglasses  anyone?

 

The California coast has some amazing look out points.  We went from LA to San Fran.  It was gahhhhreat for soaking up scenery, boozy cocktails and generally just chilling the hell out.  I took my vitamin W every single day.

Do it.  Your heart might explode.

 

For the love of palm trees http://www.lynneknowlton.com/lately/

 

Calfornia road trip http://www.lynneknowlton.com/lately/

 

 

 

19.   Why a road trip?  Why?! Dammit.  Why???!!

 

Because winter refused to end in Ontario!!

Barn love!

My neighbours barn. Yeah. That’s snow. LOL.

 

annnnnnd Michael and I are celebrating 20 years together.

TWENTY YEARS.

I don’t know how that happened.  I’m only 25.

And counting.  And counting.  And counting.  Oh shut up.

 

Country Living #treehouse style http://www.lynneknowlton.com/lately/

Gawd,   I  love  that  dude.

 

You have met Michael here <– (sad, not funny) and on the blog here too <– (not sad, supes funny.)   There’s even a video of him here where he talks about me blawg and cancer.

 

 

20.  Hit the road, Jack.

 

California Road Trip

 

It was a great excuse to drink California wine.   Let’s put it this way. Certain alcohol has beneficial antioxidants and I like to fight cancer sometimes.  I like wine.  Not in a wine way, in an antioxidant way.

I’m a bit of lightweight.  After two drinks, I start licking faces.

It’s not embarrassing at all.

 

 

Did you get any great ideas in the post?  Say yessssss. You want to kiss me right now, don’t you?  I know.  I know.

Pucker up.

It’s good to be back.

Let’s have a virtual sip of vodka awesome water tonight and celebrate that you didn’t close the browser window on me when I overshared my life happenings.  Hey, while you’re sipping that water, share your life happenings with me.

 

Sooooooo, whatcha been up to, buttercup?  Spill…  I want to hear all about it.  I’ve missed you.  xo

Lynne

This entry was posted in Life & Advice, Love & Wellness, Too Funny!. Bookmark the permalink.


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68 Responses

  1. Tracie Berry says:

    Hi Lynne,
    Just watched your video for the knit blankie, and fell in love with you all over again! Will totally make this for my sister. Maybe one for myself…Love you! Wait, didn’t I just say that? I’m such a sap…

  2. Tracie Berry says:

    Hi Lynne,
    Just watched your video for the knit blankie, and fell in love with you all over again! Will totally make this for my sister. Maybe one for myself…Love you!

  3. Tracie Berry says:

    Okay, I’ve just seen way too muchy much in this post to even begin to comment…Still love you, still love your treehouse. Enough said. Except, holy crap…you and your hubby are way too gorgeous for words. Love the car, and road trips are my fave…I’ve missed you, xoxo

  4. Kayla says:

    Love this post so much! 😀

  5. Advice: only run if being chased. (I haven’t run since I got chased by a man with a garbage can in 1997.)

    • Hey Movi !!!

      Does it count if you are getting chased by geese? or squirrels? It legit happens around these here parts. <--- my best sophistihick accent 🙂 Loves ya, monkey! Lynne x

  6. Michele says:

    Lynne, it’s so wonderful to read your blog again! I’ve missed you and all of your wonderful decorating tips! I was so sad that we never made it to your place when we were home last summer-we all wanted to see your treehouse (and of course), I wanted to meet you in person. Maybe next year!!! Last minute change of plans took us to Sauble Beach and Toronto instead and an early leave back to Texas…..family drama can really ruin a vacation…We’re not coming home this summer but will be in 2016 and we’ll be staying at the cottage at welbeck…I’ll be able to walk to your place….lol! Anyways, I’m so glad that all is well and congrats on 20 years together!!! Say hi to my dad the next time you stop at Welbeck..(he wasn’t my drama by the way…lol)

    • Hi Michele!!!

      Oh, I wish I was going to see you this summer! I wouldn’t imagine it was your Dad that caused the drama.. LOL.. he’s a pretty chill dude. 🙂

      You may have to ride a bike from Welbeck to our place.. or you may have a heart attack. LOL. We are straight down Conc 2 from Welbeck and at the corner of the 15th sideroad. A bit of a hike. 🙂

      Get ‘yer butt to the treehouse. I’ll have some wine chilling for you 🙂 xx

  7. Schnee Wolfe says:

    Ok, I can relate to the awesome water, (vodka) as I *create* awesome liquids as in 60+ Litres 😀 Mead and Country Wine. It’s for survival here in the city of GTA ;-/ Lived in the country for the first 25 (6 on an 80 acre farm North of Rice Lake) years of my life, and 25+17 years here in the ‘Burbs and The City. Funny you are celebrating 20 years with Michael and this year I will be *celebrating* 20 years in an *undiscovered country*, of separation, solitude and sanity from “The good, the bad and the ugly”.. Some relationships should never go beyond a handshake and soon forgotten in a blur of awesome inebriation. (phew, things in life are what they seem)
    Now to the good stuff, (what do you mean I didn’t read the blog, of course I did 😉 ) I like the door awesome idea, lots of those on the farm barn. White everywhere…. Noooooooooooooo!!! keep the strait-jacket away from me…. Colour, BRIGHT and CHEERY, Keep singing, Timothy O’Leary!! 😉
    Linen is fine if you have the time, to wash and clean and not get frustrated and mean, with household chores and not enough time outdoors, you’ll understand, when Michael takes you by the hand, and breaks the chains that bind and you become un-blind 😉
    Well, now I have answered a question I had when I opened up your e-mail, WHY DO I HAVE MESSAGES FROM THIS WOMAN!! 😉 your loads of fun. and brighten up my life.. Keep on truckin’!!
    Cheers SW

    • Hahhaahahaha… ‘why do I have messages from this woman’… you have messages from me because I luuuurves ya.

      My blog subscribers are d’bomb dot com and I appreciate every single one of them. It’s so awesome to have the privilege of sending messages to your inbox. Wait. That sounds wrong. LOL.

      On a random note…Linen.. guess what?!!… the linen that I now buy (from the Etsy seller in the blog post) comes as is, not ironed and it is so gorgy gorgeous. I wash it, throw it in the dryer, and use it. Boom. Like magic. Stunning!

      I love the feeling of washing things and putting them on the line to hang outside in the wind too. If I could bottle that smell. Oh la la.

      Big love!
      Lynne xx

  8. Jackie says:

    I’m reading along, thinking “hey, I turn 50 this year too!” and then you called me normal. NORMAL! NOTTTTTTT! Harumph! Ok, now I’ll go back to reading the rest of your blog.

    Canadian Geese poop is really acidic. I feel your pain- but you’ll love the adorable goslings and it will all be worth it in the end. You’ll have to figure out a way to keep them legally away from your pond next year. Scarecrows? Loggers singing “I’m a lumberjack and I”m ok”? Def Leopard blasted all day long? You’ll figure it out. Just don’t call us normal. ;-D

    • Hi non-normal Jackie *haha*

      Have I told you lately that you are the crazy to my crazy? Definitely not the normal to my crazy.

      hahahaahaha

      Okay, now I have the song stuck in my head…

      “I’m a lumber jack and I’m okay”

      It’ll be in my head all day. We are officially even.

      Bahhaaaa

      Have an epic day!
      Lynne xx

  9. Whoa. Worth the wait!!!!! Awesome blog post FULL of A1 info. Not gonna lie, little red wine came outta my nose when I read #7. Love ya xo

    • Cath…. oh Cath… hahahaha…. we are professional wine nose snorters.

      Gawd, I loves ya. You are definitely the yin to my yang.

      Do you believe that we have been pals for 25 years? How’d that happen? We just turned 21 last week. Hmmmph.

      Loves ya,
      xox

  10. MarlyM says:

    OMG we are sista’s from anotha mista! My fella’s name is Michael! Saying “balls” makes me giggle (although I’m only 49, not 50 – LOL)! Friday is my second favourite “f” word! And yes, vodka DOES rhyme with Friday! I love, love, love your blog! Your wit, your style, your attitude toward life – love it! Cheers sista! Happy May long!!!

    • Awwwahh SHUCKS!

      *kicking boot in the sand* THANK YOU for those EPIC words.

      You totally made my day. I completely messed up yesterday and sent all the wrong links out to my email subscribers. They are my posse and I messed up.

      Vodka definitely rhymed with Friday yesterday and the F word was definitely my fave word yesterday. LOL.

      Be careful what you wish for.hahahhaaa.

      Happy almost 50!

      xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

  11. Liberty says:

    Aww. We celebrated our 20th in January. And we took a CA road trip! But to be fair we live in California. We also moved and I have been peeking in on your old blog entries for decorating inspiration – as well as designing a few things myself (hello, upcycled cardboard box charging station!)

    • Liberty,

      I’m jelly jealous on all levels of jelly-ness. You live in California?!! Can I be your new best friend?

      Dudette, you just moved and need decorating inspiration? Woot! This is your year. I’m sharing a ton ton ton of great ideas this year on the blog for home awesome sauce.

      If you need to see more, search the word DIY in the upper search bar of the blog and you will see a ton. 🙂

      Click here for DIY ideas

      Hope that helps!

      Big love!
      Lynne xx

  12. Robbin says:

    Just binge watched Frankie and Grace and I totally loved it. Is Netfix doing a season 2? I hope so. I laughed and I cried. Soo good! Love you’re new cat btw. He’s a cutie

    • Too funny Robbin!

      Isn’t it fab? So hilarious!! A.d.d.i.c.t.e.d.

      The one liners crack me up. I’ve snorted outta my nose a couple of times. A total giggle fest.

      Glad you love it!
      Lynne xx

  13. Mary says:

    Canada Goose crap? 2 words–Border Collie. All the cool golf courses are using them. Got to the point up the line here you couldn’t golf at the club without slipping on goose shit. Border collie to the rescue…golf club busy again! Amazeballs. Missed you. Hugs.

  14. I might be wheeze-laughing right now. Mebbe. If you wrote posts like this every day, I would be in serious rib hurt. Since I follow your Insta, I had an idea of what you were up to. You sure know how to pick a car for a 20th anni, girl. Did I tell you G-Man is a Cali boy? It has its appeal during a Canadian winter. I think I saw that same juicer on Mount Doom. Just sayin’. Frightening. Me, you ask? I’ve been bloggity, blah-blah bloggin. I’ve been taking the same passport picture over and over again. o.O You probably saw something similar on Scream 2. Defying Mama Weather and gardening. Smacking my Fitbit Flex around. Had the wavy bob (WOB) whacked into a short shag. Planning a little road trip. I just wrote tirp. That sounds ominous. Watching Outlander. You know, this ‘n that. Welcome back.

    • Elen!

      G-man is a Cali boy? Does he want a second wife? Just sayin’.

      Passport photo: You know what they say… if you look like your passport photo, you’re too sick to travel.

      Fit bit: Too funny! My son has one, and I see him just walking around in circles or going up and down the steps a few extra odd times. I’m like…whaaaaa are you doing? …

      His answer.. oh Mom, adding steps on my FitBit. hahahaha.

      Missed ya girly!
      xx

  15. West Coast Nan says:

    I wondered what had happened to you, thought maybe something bad but so glad to read it’s something good like painting the treehouse and a road trip out west… Wish I could say exciting things were happening to me but alas, not so much. I will have a virtual drink with you anyway though, I’m always up for that! Cheers sista!

    • Ahhhhh, nothing bad… except those dang Geese and not enough hours in a day.

      SOMETHING exciting must be happening with you. Dig deep. I know it’s in there.

      I’m excited that you are here. Does that count? xoxoxoxoxoxo

  16. chris aka monkey says:

    i have missed you too my dear but glad you and hubba hubba hubs got to vaca and get out of the fricking snow, what have i been up to well having back surgery and suffering like a dawg unless i was on the lala pills but like the old sob i am i am coming along got off all the lala pills was major felt nice to be able to focus, now i am just pushing myself to do more and more because before surgery i had torn apart my bath and bedroom to paint and fix up a little and this fricking mess is driving me to drink love you woman xx

    • Oh you crack me up! LA LA pills. Good one! I might have to quote you on that.

      You and I can have a virtual drink today. Guess what I did? I sent out the entire blog post to 10,000 people with the wrong links to the blog post.

      Uhmm. How do you spell liquid lunch? Yeah, I’m going to have it.

      Sending you lots of healing love my friend!!

      xxoo

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